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THE 



MOTHER AT HOME; 



OR 



THE PRINCIPLES OF MATERNAL DUTY 



FAMILIARLY ILLUSTRATED. 



y— 



BY JOHN S.' C. ABBOTT, 

Pastor of the Calvinist Church, Worcester. 



Second Edition. 



BOSTON : 

PUBLISHED BY CROCKER AND BREWSTER, 

47, Washington Street: 
NEW-YORK:— JONATHAN LEAVITT, 

182, Broadway. 



1833. 



cZ-jaH 



5*1 



Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1833, 

BY CROCKER & BREWSTER, 
In the Clerk' Office of the District Court of Massachusetts. 



tin etf&^&ngev 



DEDICATION. 



TO MY FATHER AND MOTHER, 

This book is most affectionately dedicated. 
For the principles here inculcated, I am in- 
debted to the instructions I received, and the 
scenes I witnessed, at your fire-side. That 
God may render them available, in conferring 
the same joy upon other families, which they 
have so richly shed upon yours, is the prayer 
of your 

GRATEFUL SON. 



PREFACE. 



The object of this book is practical util- 
ity, not literary effect. It was written for 
mothers in the common walks of life. There 
are many mothers, in every village of our land, 
who are looking eagerly for information re- 
specting the government of their children. It 
is hoped that the following treatise may render 
them some assistance. 

Some persons may object to the minuteness 
of detail, and the familiarity of illustration, oc- 
casionally introduced. We, however, are per- 
suaded that this objection will not be made by 
mothers. Education consists in attention to 
little things. 

The religious sentiments inculcated in this 
book, are those usually denominated evangeli- 
cal. We have proceeded upon the principle 
that here is the commencement of eternal ex- 



VJ11 CONTENTS. 

ers — The vain child — Making exhibitions of children's attainments — 
Repeating hymns — Remarks of an English gentleman— Secluding 
children from society — A. family scene — Loquacity — Anecdote — De- 
ceiving children — The Physician — Good effects of approbation — Basil 
Hall — Imaginary fears — Appalling consequences of resorting to them 
for punishment 80 

CHAPTER VI. 

Religious Instruction. A mother's influence — Importance of deep 
devotional feeling — Dying scene — The cheerful aspect in which reli- 
gion should be presented — Appropriate occasions for religious instruc- 
tion — Tenderness of feeling — The Storm— Sickness — The death of a 
child — Anecdote — The summer's morning — Loss of a ball — The gen- 
tleman and the cabin boj' — Inappropriate occasions — Excitement — 
Tedious conversation 105 

CHAPTER VII. 

Religious Instruction, continued. Indefinite views of heaven — 
Vivid description of the inspired writers — Intellectual delight — rapture 
of melody — Joy of friendship— Beauty of scenery — The Savior — Im- 
pression a Savior's love produces on the mind of a child — Nathan 
Dickerman — Prayer with children — The gambler — English gentleman 
— Teaching children to pray — Mode — Anecdote — Expect success — 
Sources of encouragement — Evil consequences of giving publicity to 
the hopeful piety of a child 124 

CHAPTER VIII. 

Results. A mother's joys — A mother's influence on future genera- 
tions — Consequences of a father's neglect of duty — Necessity of study- 
ing the subject of Education — Consequences of ignorance — Keeping 
journals — Extracts from a mother's note-book — Cessation of toil, and 
a heavenly home 144 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



CHAPTER I. 



RESPONSIBILITY. 



A few years ago, some gentlemen who were asso- 
ciated in preparing for the ministry, felt interested in 
ascertaining what proportion of their number, had 
pious mothers. They were greatly surprised and 
delighted, in finding that out of one hundred and 
twenty students, over a hundred had been borne by a 
mother's prayers, and directed by a mother's coun- 
sels to the Savior. Though some of these had broken 
away from all the restraints of home, and like the 
prodigal had wandered in sin and sorrow, yet they 
could not forget the impressions of childhood, and 
were eventually brought to the Savior, to be a moth- 
er's joy and blessing. Many interesting facts, have, 
within a few years, drawn the attention of Christians 
to this subject. The efforts which a mother makes, 
for the improvement of her child in knowledge and 

virtue, are necessarily retired and unobtrusive. The 

2 



14 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

world knows not of them; and hence the world has 
been slow to perceive how powerful and extensive, is 
this secret and silent influence. But circumstances, 
are now directing the eyes of the community to the 
nursery, and the truth is daily coming more distinctly 
before the public, that the influence which is exerted 
upon the mind, during the first eight or ten years of 
existence, in a great degree guides the destinies of that 
mind for time and eternity. And as the mother is 
the guardian and guide of the early years of life, 
from her, goes the most powerful influence, in the 
formation of the character of man. And why should 
it not be so? What impressions can be more strong, 
and more lasting, than those received upon the mind, 
in the freshness and the susceptibility of youth? 
What instructor can gain greater confidence and 
respect, than a mother? And where can there be 
delight in acquiring knowledge, if not when the little 
flock cluster around a mother's knee, to hear of God 
and heaven. 

"A good boy, generally makes a good man." Said 
the mother of Washington, "George was always a 
good boy." Here we see one secret of his great- 
ness. George Washington had a mother, who made 
him a good boy, and instilled into his heart those 
principles, which raised him to be the benefactor of 
his country, and one of the brightest ornaments of 
the world. The Mother of Washington is entitled 
to a nation's gratitude. She taught her boy the prin- 
ciples of obedience, and moral courage, and virtue. 



RESPONSIBILITY. 15 

She, in a great measure, formed the character of the 
Hero, and the Statesman. It was by her own fire 
side, that she taught her playful boy to govern him- 
self, and thus was he prepared for the brilliant career 
of usefulness which he afterwards pursued. We are 
indebted to God for the gift of Washington; but we 
are no less indebted to him for the gift of his inesti- 
mable mother. Had she been a weak and indulgent 
and unfaithful parent, the unchecked energies of 
Washington might have elevated him to the throne of a 
tyrant, or youthful disobedience, might have prepared 
the way for a life of crime and a dishonored grave. 
Byron had a mother just the reverse of lady 
Washington; and the character of the mother was 
transferred to the son. We cannot wonder then at 
his character and conduct, for we see them to be 
the almost necessary consequence of the educa- 
tion he received, and the scenes he witnessed in his 
mother's parlor. She would, at one time, allow him 
to disobey with impunity; again she would fly into a 
rage and beat him. She thus taught him to defy all 
authority, human and divine; to indulge, without re- 
straint, in sin; to give himself up to the power of 
every maddening passion. It was the mother of 
Byron who laid the foundation of his pre-eminence 
in guilt. She taught him to plunge into that sea of 
profligacy and wretchedness, upon whose agitated 
waves he was tossed for life. If the crimes of the 
poet deserve the execration of the world, — the world 
pan not forget, that it was the mother, who fostered 



16 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

in his youthful heart, those passions, which made the 
son a curse to his fellow men. Had Byron and 
Washington exchanged cradles, during the first 
month of their infancy, it is very certain that their 
characters would have been entirely changed; and it 
is by no means improbable, that Washington might 
have been the licentious profligate, and Byron the 
exemplar of virtue and the benefactor of nations.^ 

There are, it is true, innumerable causes inces- 
santly operating in the formation of character. A 
mother's influence is by no means the only influence 
which is exerted. Still it may be the most powerful; 
for, with God's ordinary blessing, it may form, in 
the youthful mind, the habits, and implant the prin- 
ciples, to which other influences are to give perma- 
nency and vigor. 

A pious and faithful mother may have a dissolute 
child. He may break away from all restraints, and 
God may leave him to "eat of the fruit of his own 
devices." The parent, thus afflicted and broken 
hearted, can only bow before the sovereignty of her 
Maker, who says, "be still, and know that I am 
God." The consciousness, however, of having done 
one's duty divests this affliction of much of its bit- 
terness. And besides such cases are rare. Profligate 
children are generally the offspring of parents, who 
have neglected the moral and religious education of 
their family. Some parents, are themselves profli- 
gate, and thus not only allow their children to grow 
up unrestrained, but by their own example lure them 



RESPONSIBILITY. 17 

to sin. But there are others, who are very upright, 
and virtuous, and even pious themselves, who do, 
nevertheless, neglect the moral culture of their chil- 
dren, and as a consequence, they grow up in disobe- 
dience and sin. It matters but little what the cause 
is, which leads to this neglect. The neglect itself 
will ordinarily be followed by disobedience and self 
will. 

Hence the reason that children of eminent men, 
both in church and state, are not un frequently the 
disgrace of their parents. If the mother is unac- 
customed to govern her children, if she look to the 
father to enforce obedience, and to control; — when 
he is absent all family government is absent, and the 
children are left to run wild; to learn lessons of dis- 
obedience; to practise arts of deception; to build, 
upon the foundation of contempt for a mother, a 
character of insubordination and iniquity. But if 
the children are under the efficient government of a 
judicious mother, the reverse of this is, almost invari- 
ably the case. And since, in nearly every instance, 
the early years of life, are entrusted to a mother's 
care, it follows that maternal influence, more than 
any thing else, forms the future character. 

The history of John Newton is often mentioned 
as a proof of the deep and lasting impression, which 
a mother may produce upon the mind of her child. 
He had a pious mother. She often retired to her 
closet, and placing her hand upon his youthful head, 

implored God's blessing upon her boy. These 

*2 



18 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

prayers and instructions sunk deep into his heart. 
He could not but revere that mother. He could not 
but feel that there was a holiness in such a charac- 
ter, demanding reverence and love. He could not 
tear from his heart, in after life, the impressions then 
produced. Though he became a wicked wanderer, 
though he forsook friends and home and every virtue, 
the remembrance of a mother's prayers, like a guar- 
dian angel, followed him wherever he went. He 
mingled in the most dissipated and disgraceful scenes 
of a sailor's life, and while surrounded with guilty as- 
sociates, in midnight revelry, he would fancy he felt 
the soft hand of his mother upon his head, pleading 
with God to forgive and bless her boy. He went to 
the coast of Africa, and became even more degrad- 
ed than the savages upon her dreary shores. But 
the soft hand of his mother was still upon his head, 
and the fervent prayers of his mother still thrilled in ' 
his heart. And this influence, after the lapse of 
many guilty years, brought back the prodigal, a pen- 
itent and a child of God; — elevated him to be one of 
the brightest ornaments of the church, and to guide 
many sons and daughters to glory. What a forcible 
comment is this, upon the power of maternal influ- 
ence! And what encouragement does this present to 
every mother, to be faithful in her efforts, to train up 
her child for God. Had Mrs. Newton neglected 
her duty; had she even been as remiss as many 
Christian mothers, her son had in all probability been 
of the number of those, who must be eternal out- 



RESPONSIBILITY. 19 

casts from Heaven. It was the influence of the 
mother, which saved the son. Newton became af- 
terwards a most successful preacher of the gospel, 
and every soul which he was instrumental in saving, 
will, through eternity, bless God, that Newton had 
such a mother. 

The influence thus exerted upon the mind, in early 
childhood, may for many years, be apparently lost. 
When a son leaves home and enters upon the busy 
world, many are the temptations which come crowd- 
ing upon him. If he leave not his mother, with es- 
tablished principles of virtue and self control, he 
will most assuredly fall before these temptations. 
He may, even, after all a mother has done, or can 
do, fall for a time. He may become deeply involved 
in guilt. He may apparently forget every lesson he 
learnt at home, while the influence of a mother's 
instructions and a mother's prayers, is yet working 
powerfully and effectually in his heart. He will 
think of a mother's tears, when remorse keeps him 
awake at midnight, or when danger threatens him 
with .speedy arraignment at the bar of God. The 
thoughts of the holiness of home, will often throw 
bitterness into his cup of guilty pleasure, and com- 
pel him to sigh for the virtue and the peace he has 
forsaken. Even though far away, in abodes of infa- 
my, degraded and abandoned, he must occasionally 
think of a broken hearted mother. Thus may he, 
after many years, perhaps long after she has gone 



20 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

down to the grave, be led by the remembrance of 
her virtues, to forsake his sins. . 

A short time since, a gentleman, in one of our 
most populous cities, was going to attend a seaman's 
meeting in the mariner's chapel. Directly opposite 
the chapel, there was a sailor's boarding house. In 
the door way, sat a hardy, weather beaten sailor, with 
arms folded and puffing a cigar, watching the peo- 
ple as they gradually assembled for the meeting. 
The gentleman walked up to him and said; "Well 
my friend, won't you go with us to meeting?" "No!" 
said the sailor bluntly. The gentleman, who, from 
the appearance of the man, was prepared for a re- 
pulse, mildly replied, "You look, my friend, as 
though you had seen hard days; — have you a moth- 
er?" The sailor raised his head, looked earnestly in 
the gentleman's face, and made no reply. 

The gentleman continued, "Suppose your mother 
were here now, what advice would she give you?" 
The tears rushed into the eyes of the poor sailor; 
he tried, for a moment, to conceal them, but could 
not; and, hastily brushing them away, with the back 
of his rough hand, rose and said, with a voice almost 
inarticulate through emotion, "I'll go to the meet- 
ing." He crossed the street, entered the door of 
the chapel, and took his seat with the assembled 
congregation. 

What afterwards became of the man is not known. 
It is however almost certain, that he must have had 



RESPONSIBILITY. 21 

a mother, who had given him good instruction; and 
when the gentleman appealed to her, hardened as 
the sailor was, his heart melted, It is by no means 
improbable that this interview might have checked 
this man in his sins, and led him to the Savior. At 
any event, it shews the strength of maternal influence. 
It shews that years of wandering and of sin, can 
not erase from tho heart the impression, which a 
mother's instructions and a mother's prayers have 
left there. 

It is a great trial to have children undutiful when 
young. But it is a ten fold greater affliction, to 
have a child grow up to maturity in disobedience, 
and become a dissolute and abandoned man. How 
many parents have passed days of sorrow and nights 
of sleeplessness, in consequence of the misconduct of 
their offspring. How many have had their hearts 
broken, and their grey hairs brought down with sor- 
row to the grave, solely in consequence of their own 
neglect to train up their children in the nurture and 
admonition of the Lord. Your future happiness is 
in the hands of your children. They may throw 
gloom over all your prospects, embitter every enjoy- 
ment, and make you so miserable, that your only 
prospect of relief will be in death. 

That little girl, whom you now fondle upon your 
knee, and who plays, so full of enjoyment, upon your 
floor, has entered a world where temptations are 
thick around. What is to enable her to resist these 
temptations, but established principles of piety? 



22 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

And where is she to obtain these principles, but from 
a mother's instructions and example? If through your 
neglect now, she should hereafter yield herself to 
temptation and sin, what must become of your peace 
of mind? Oh mother! little are you aware of the 
WTetchedness, with which your loved daughter may 
hereafter overwhelm you. 

Many illustrations of the most affecting nature, 
might here be introduced. It would be easy to ap- 
peal to a vast number of living sufferers, in attesta- 
tion of the woe, which the sin of the child has occa- 
sioned. You may go not only in imagination, but in 
reality to the darkened chamber, where the mother 
sits weeping, and refusing to be comforted, for a 
daughter is lost to virtue and to Heaven. Still no 
person can imagine how overwhelming the agony, 
which must prey upon a mother thus dishonored and 
broken hearted. This is. a sorrow, which can only 
be understood, by one who has tasted its bitterness 
and felt its weight. We may go to the house of 
piety and prayer, and find the father and mother 
with countenances emaciated with suffering; not a 
smile plays upon their features; and the mournful 
accents of their voice, tell how deeply seated is their 
sorrow. Shall we inquire into the cause of this heart 
renting grief? The mother would only reply with 
tears and sobs. The father would summon all his 
fortitude, and say, "my daughter;" — and say no 
more. The anguish of his spirit, would prevent the 
farther utterance of his grief. 



ttESFONSIBlLITtf. 23 

Is this exaggeration? No! Let your lovely daugh- 
ter, now your pride and joy, be abandoned to infamy; 
be an outcast from society, and you must feel what 
language cannot express. 

This is a dreadful subject. But it is one which 
the mother must feel and understand. There are 
facts which might here be introduced, sufficient to 
make every pareat tremble. We might lead you to 
the dwelling of the clergyman, and tell you, that a 
daughter's sin has murdered the mother, and sent 
paleness to the cheek, and trembling to the frame, 
and agony to the heart of the aged father. We 
might carry you to the parlor of. the rich man, and 
show you all the elegance and the opulence with 
which he is surrounded; and yet he would tell you, 
that he was one of the most unhappy of the sons of 
affliction, and that he would gladly give all his treas- 
ures, if he could purchase back a daughter's virtue; 
— that he could most rejoicingly lie down to die, if 
he could thus blot out the remembrance of a daugh- 
ter's infamy. 

No matter what your situation in life may be, that 
little child, now so innocent, whose playful endear- 
ments, and happy laugh awaken such thrilling emo- 
tions in your heart, may cause you years of most 
unalleviated misery. 

And Mother! look at that drunken vagrant, stag- 
gering by your door. Listen to his horrid impreca- 
tions, as bloated and ragged, he passes along. That 
wretch has a mother. Perhaps, widowed and in 



24 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

poverty she needs the comfort and support of an 
affectionate son. You have a son. You may soon 
be a widow. If your son is dissolute, you are 
doubly widowed; you are worse, infinitely worse 
than childless. You cannot now endure even the 
thought, that your son will ever be thus abandoned. 
How dreadful then must be the experience of the 
reality. 

I once knew a mother who had an only son. She 
loved him most ardently, and could not bear to deny 
him any indulgence. He, of course, soon learned to 
rule his mother. At the death of his father, the poor 
woman was left at the mercy of this vile boy. She 
had neglected her duty, when he was young, and 
now his ungovernable passions had become ,too 
strong for her control. Self-willed, turbulent and 
revengeful, he was his mother's bitterest curse. His 
paroxysms of rage at times amounted almost to mad- 
ness. One day, infuriated with his mother, he set 
fire to her house, and it was burned to the ground, 
with all its contents, and she was left in the extrem- 
est state of poverty. He was imprisoned as an in- 
cendiary, and, in his cell, he became a maniac, if he 
was not such before, and madly dug out his own 
eyes. He now lies in perpetual darkness, confined 
by the stone walls, and grated bars of his dungeon, 
an infuriated madman. 

Oh how hard it must be for a mother, after all her 
pain and anxiety and watchings, to find her son a 
demoniac spirit, instead of a guardian and friend. 



RESPONSIBILITY. 25 

You have watcbed over your child, through all the 
months of its helpless infancy. You have denied 
yourself, that you might give it comfort. When it 
has been sick, you have been unmindful of your own 
weariness, and your own weakness, and the livelong 
night you have watched at its cradle, administering 
to all its wants. When it has smiled, you have felt 
a joy, which none but a parent can feel, and have 
pressed your much loved treasure to your bosom, 
praying that its future years of obedience and affec- 
tion might be your ample reward. And now, how 
dreadful a requital, for that child to grow up to hate 
and abuse you; — to leave you friendless, in sickness 
and in poverty; — to squander all his earnings in 
haunts of iniquity and degradation. 

How entirely, is your earthly happiness at the dis- 
posal of your child. His character is now in your 
hands, and you are to form it for good or for evil. 
If you are consistent in your government, and faithful 
in the discharge of your duties, your child will prob- 
ably, through life, revere you — to be the stay and 
solace of your declining years. If, on the other hand, 
you cannot summon resolution to punish your child 
when disobedient; if you do not curb his passions; 
if you do not bring him to entire and willing subjec- 
tion to your authority; you must expect that he will 
be your curse. In all probability, he will despise 
you for your weakness. Unaccustomed to restraints 
at home, he will break away from all restraints, and 



26 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

make you wretched by his life, and disgraceful in his 
death. 

But few parents think of this as they ought. They 
are not conscious of the tremendous consequences, 
dependant upon the efficient and decisive govern- 
ment of their children. Thousands of parents now 
stand in our land, like oaks blighted and scathed by 
lightnings and storms. Thousands have had every 
hope wrecked, every prospect darkened, and have 
become the victims of the most agonizing, and heart 
rending disappointment, solely in consequence of the 
misconduct of their children. And yet thousands of 
others, are going on in the same way, preparing to 
experience the same suffering, and are apparently 
unconscious of their danger. 

It is true that there are many mothers, who feel 
their responsibilities, perhaps as deeply as it is best 
they should feel them. But there are many others, — 
even of Christian mothers, — who seem to forget that 
their children will ever be less under their control, 
than they are while young. And they are training 
them up, by indecision and indulgence, soon to tyr- 
anise over their parents, with a rod of iron, — and to 
pierce their hearts with many sorrows. If you are 
unfaithful to your child, when he is young, he will be 
unfaithful to you, when he is old. If you indulge 
him in all his foolish and unreasonable wishes, when 
he is a child, when he becomes a man, he will in- 
dulge himself. He will gratify every desire of his 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 27 

heart, and your sufferings will be rendered the more 
poignant, by the reflection that it was your own un- 
faithfulness which has caused your ruin. If you 
would be the happy mother of a happy child, give 
your attention and your efforts and your prayers, to 
the great duty of training him up for God and 
Heaven. 



CHAPTER II. 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 



I have thus endeavored to shew the mother, how 
much her happiness is dependant upon the good or 
bad character of her children. Your own reflections 
and observation, have, doubtless, impressed this sub- 
ject, most deeply, upon your heart. The question 
has probably often presented itself to your mind, 
while reading the previous chapter, "How shall I 
govern my children, so as to secure their virtue and 
happiness?" This question I shall now endeavor to 
answer. 

I. Obedience is absolutely essential to proper family 
government. Without this, all other efforts will be 
in vain. You may pray with, and for your children; 
you may strive to instruct them in religious truth; 
you may be unwearied in your efforts to make them 
happy, and to gain their affection. But if they are 



28 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

in habits of disobedience, your instructions will be 
lost, and your toil in vain. And by obedience, I do 
not mean languid and dilatory yielding to repeated 
threats, but prompt and cheerful acquiescence in pa- 
rental commands. Neither is it enough that a child 
should yield to your arguments and persuasions. It 
is essential that he should submit to your authority. 
I will suppose a case in illustration of this last re- 
mark. Your little daughter is sick; you go to her 
with the medicine which has been prescribed for her, 
and the following dialogue ensues. 

"Here, my daughter, is some medicine for you." 
"I don't want to take it, mamma." 
"Yes, my dear, do take it, for it will make you 
feel better." 

"No it won't, mother, I don't want it." 
"Yes it will, my child, the doctor says it will." 
"Well it don't taste good, and I don't want it." 
The mother continues her persuasions, and the 
child persists in its refusal. After a long and weari- 
some conflict, the mother is compelled either to throw 
the medicine away, or to resort to compulsion, and 
force down the unpalatable drug. Thus instead of 
appealing to her own supreme authority, she is ap- 
pealing to the reason of the child, and, under these 
circumstances, the child of course refuses to submit. 
A mother, not long since, under similar circum- 
stances, not being able to persuade her child to take 
the medicine, and not having sufficient resolution to 
compel it, threw the medicine away. When the 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 29 

physician next called, she was ashamed to acknowl- 
edge her want of government, and therefore did not 
tell him that the medicine had not been given. The 
physician finding the child worse, left another pre- 
scription, supposing the previous one had been prop- 
erly administered. But the child had no idea of 
being convinced of the propriety of taking the nau- 
seous dose, and the renewed efforts of the mother 
were unavailing. Again the fond and foolish, but 
eruel parent, threw the medicine away, and the fever 
was left to rage unchecked in its veins. Again the 
physician called, and was surprised to find the inef- 
ficacy of his prescriptions, and that the poor little 
sufferer was at the verge of death. The mother, 
when informed that her child must die, was in an 
agony, and confessed what she had done. But it 
was too late. The child died. And think you that 
mother gazed upon its pale corpse, with any common 
emotions of anguish? Think you the idea never en- 
tered her mind, that she was the destroyer of her 
child? Physicians will tell you that many children, 
have thus been lost. Unaccustomed to obedience 
when well, they are still more averse to it when sick. 
The efforts which are made to induce a stubborn 
child to take medicine, often produce such an excite- 
ment, as entirely to counteract the effect of the pre- 
scription; and thus is a mother often called to weep 
over the grave of her child, simply because she has 

not taught that child to obey. 
*3 



30 THE MOTHER AT HOME, 

It is certainly the duty of parents, to convince their 
children, of the reasonableness and propriety of their 
requirements. This should be done, to instruct them/ 
and to make them acquainted with moral obligation. 
But there should always be authority, sufficient to 
enforce prompt obedience, whether the child can see 
the reason of the requirement, or not. Indeed, it is 
impossible to govern a child by mere argument. 
Many cases must occur, in which it will be incapa- 
ble of seeiag the reasonableness of the command. 
And often its wishes will be so strongly opposed to 
duty, that all efforts to convince will be in vain. 
The first thing therefore to be aimed at, is to bring 
your child under perfect subjection. Teach him 
that he must obey you. Sometimes give him your 
reasons; again withhold them. But let him per- 
fectly understand, that he is to do as he is bid. Ac- 
custom him to immediate and cheerful acquiescence 
in your will. This is obedience. And this is abso- 
lutely essential to good family government. Without 
this, your family will present one continued scene of 
noise and confusion; the toil of rearing up your chil- 
dren will be almost insupportable, and, in all proba- 
bility, your heart will be broken by their future licen- 
tiousness, or ingratitude. 

II. We come now to the inquiry, how is this habit of 
obedience to be established?- This is not so difficult 
a matter as many imagine. It does not require pro- 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. t 31 

foond learning, or a mysterious skill, which pertains 
but to the few. Where do you find the best regu- 
lated families? Are they in the houses of the rich? 
Do the children of our most eminent men, furnish 
the best patterns for imitation? Obviously not. In 
some of the most humble dwellings, we find the beau- 
tiful spectacle of an orderly and well regulated fami- 
ly. On the other hand, in the mansions of the weal- 
thiest or most eminent men of our country, we may 
often find a family of rude girls, and ungovernable 
boys — a picture of wild misrule. It is not greatness 
of talent, or profound learning, which is requisite to 
teach a child obedience. The principles, by which 
we are to be guided, are very simple, and very plain. 

1, Never give a command which you do not in- 
tend shall be obeyed. There is no more effectual 
way of teaching a child disobedience, than by giving 
commands, which you have no intention of enforcing. 
A child is thus habituated to disregard its mother; 
and, in a short time, the habit becomes so strong, 
and the child's contempt for the mother, so confirmed, 
that entreaties and threats are alike unheeded. 

"Mary, let that book alone;" says a mother to her 
little daughter, who is trying to pull the Bible froip 
the table. 

Mary stops for a moment, and then takes hold of 
the book again. 

Pretty soon the mother looks up, and sees that 
Mary is still playing with the Bible* "Did not you 



32 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

hear me tell you to let that book alone?" she exclaims? 
"why don't you obey?" 

Mary takes away her hand for a moment, but is 
soon again at her forbidden amusement. Bye and 
bye, down comes the Bible upon the floor. Up 
jumps the mother, hastily, giving the child a passion- 
ate blow, and exclaims, "There, then, obey me next 
time." The child screams, and the mother picks up 
the Bible, saying, "I w T onder why my children do not 
obey me better." 

This is not a very interesting family scene, but 
every one of my readers will admit that it is not an 
uncommon one. And is it strange that a child, thus 
managed, should be disobedient? No. She is actu- 
ally led on, by her mother, to insubordination; she is 
actually taught to pay no heed to her directions. 
Even the improper punishment, which sometimes fol- 
lows transgression, is not inflicted on account of her 
disobedience, but for the accidental consequences. 
In the case above described, had the Bible not fallen, 
the disobedience of the child would have passed un- 
punished. Let it be an immutable principle in fam- 
ily government that your word is law. 

I was once, when riding in the country, overtaken 
by a shower, and compelled to seek shelter in a farm 
house. Half a dozen rude and ungovernable boys, 
were racing about the room, in such an uproar, as to 
prevent the possibility of conversation with the father, 
who was sitting by the fire. As I, however, endeav- 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY* 33 

ored to make some remark, the father shouted out, 
"Stop that noise, boys." 

They paid no more heed to him than they did to 
the rain. Soon, again, in an. irritated voice, he ex- 
claimed; 

"Boys, be still, or I will whip you;— as sure as 
you are alive, I will." But the boys, as though ac- 
customed to such threats, screamed and quarrelled, 
without intermission. 

At last the father said to me, "I believe I have got 
the worst boys in town; I never can make them mind 
me." 

The fact was, these boys had the worst father m 
town. He was teaching them disobedience, as di- 
rectly and efficiently as he could. He was giving 
commands, wnich he had no intention of enforcing, 
and they knew it. This, to be sure, is an extreme 
case. But just so far as any mother allows her au- 
thority to be disregarded, so far does she expose her- 
self to the contempt of her children, and actually 
teaches them lessons of disobedience. 

And is there any difficulty in enforcing obedience 
to any definite command? Take the case of the 
child playing with the Bible. A mild and judicious 
mother says distinctly and decidedly to her child, 
"My daughter, that is the Bible, and you must not 
touch it." The child hesitates for a moment, but 
yielding to the strong temptation, is soon playing with 
the forbidden book. The mother immediately rises, 
lakes the child, and carries her into her chamber, 



34 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

She sits down and says calmly, "Mary, I told you not 
to touch the Bible, and you have disobeyed me. I 
am very sorry, for now I must punish you." 

Mary begins to cry, and to promise not to do so 
again. 

"But Mary," says the mother, "you have disobey- 
ed me, and you must be punished." 

Mary continues to cry, but the mother seriously 
and calmly punishes her. She inflicts real pain, — 
pain that will be remembered. 

She then says, "Mary, it makes mother very un- 
happy to have to punish you. She loves her little 
daughter, and wishes to have her a good girl." 

She then perhaps leaves her to herself for a few 
minutes. A little solitude will deepen the impression 
made. 

In five or ten minutes, she returns, takes Mary in 
her lap, and says, "My dear, are you sorry that you 
disobeyed mother?" 

Almost any child would say "Yes!" 

"Will you be careful, and not disobey me 
again?" 

"Yes, mother." 
"Well, Mary," says her mother, "I will forgive 
you, so far as I can, but God is displeased; you have 
disobeyed Him, as well as me. Do you wish me to 
ask God to forgive you?" 

"Yes, mother," answers the child. 

The mother then kneels with her daughter, and 
offers a simple prayer for forgiveness, and the return 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 35 

of peace and happiness. She then leads her out, 
humbled and subdued. At night, just before she 
goes to sleep, she mildly and affectionately reminds 
her of her disobedience, and advises her to ask God's 
forgiveness again. Mary, in child-like simplicity, 
acknowledges to God what she has done, and asks 
Him to forgive her, and take care of her, during the 
night. 

When this child awakes in the morning, will not 
her young affections be more strongly fixed upon h ,r 
mother, in consequence of the discipline of the pre- 
ceding day? As she is playing about the room, will 
she be likely to forget the lesson she has been taught, 
and again reach out her hand to a forbidden object? 
Such an act of discipline tends to establish a general 
principle in the mind of the child, which will be of 
permanent operation, extending its influence to every 
command, and promoting the general authority of 
the mother, and subjection of the child. 

I know that some mothers say that they have not 
time to pay so much attention to their children. But 
the fact is that not one third of the time is required to 
take care of an orderly family, which is necessary to 
take care of a disorderly one* To be faithful in the 
government of your family, is the only way to save 
time. Can you afford to be distracted and harassed 
by continued disobedience? Can you spare the time, 
to have your attention called away, every moment, 
from the business in which you are engaged, by the 
mischievousness of your wilful children? 



$6 the Mother at Home. 

Look at the parent, surrounded by a family of 
children who are in the habit of doing as they please. 
She is very busy, I will suppose, upon some article of 
dress, which it is important should be immediately 
finished. Every moment she is compelled to raise 
her eyes from her work, to see what the children are 
about. Samuel is climbing upon the table. Jane is 
drawing out the andirons. John is galloping about 
the room upon the tongs. The mother, almost deaf- 
ened with noise, wonders what makes her children 
so much more troublesome than other people's. 

"Jane, let those andirons alone;" she exclaims. 
Jane runs away for a moment; chases Charles around 
the room, and returns to her mischief. 

"Charles, put up those tongs." Charles pays no 
heed to the direction. 

The mother soon seeing how he is wearing the 
carpet, and bruising the furniture, gets up, gives 
Charles a shake, and places the tongs in their proper 
situation; but by the time she is fairly seated, and at 
her work again, Charles is astride the shovel, and 
travelling at the top of his speed. 

I need not continue this picture. But every one 
knows that it is not exaggerated. Such scenes do 
often occur. Thousands of immortal spirits are 
trained up in this turbulence, and anarchy, and noise, 
for time, and for eternity. Now this mother will tell 
you that she has not time to bring her children into 
subjection. Whereas, had she been faithful with each 
individual child, she would have saved herself an im- 
mense amount of time and toil. 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 37 

We will suppose the case of another mother, who 
has the same work to perform. She has taught her 
children prompt and implicit obedience. She gives 
three of them perhaps some blocks, in one corner of 
the room, and tells them that they may play, "build 
houses" but that they must not make much noise, 
and must not interrupt her, for she wishes to be busy. 
The other three, she places in another corner of the 
room, with their slates, and tells them that they may 
play, "make pictures." The children, accustomed 
to such orderly arrangements, employ themselves, 
very quietly and happily, for perhaps three quarters 
of an hour. The mother goes on uninterrupted 
in her work. Occasionally she raises her eyes, 
and says an encouraging word to her children, now 
noticing the little architects in the corner, and now 
glancing her eye at the drawings upon the slates; 
thus shewing the children that she sympathises with 
them, and takes an interest in their enjoyments. The 
children are pleased and happy. The mother is un- 
disturbed. 

She does not let them continue their amusements, 
till they are weary of them. But after they have 
played perhaps three quarters of an hour, she says, 

"Come children you have played long enough, 
you may take up all your little blocks, and put them 
away in the drawer." 

"Oh, mother," says Maria, "do let me play a little 
while longer, for I have got my house almost done." 
4 



38 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

"Well, ) r ou may finish it," says the judiciously 
kind mother, "but tell me as soon as it is done." 

In a few minutes, Maria says, "There ma, see 
what a large house J have built." The mother looks 
at it and adds a pleasant word of encouragement, and 
then tells them to put all their blocks in the proper 
place. She tells the children with the slates to hang 
up their slates, and put away their pencils; so that, 
the next day when slates and blocks are wanted, no 
time may be lost in searching for them. 

Now which mother has the most tinted and which 
mother has the hapjiizst time? And which mother 
will find the most comfort in the subsequent charac- 
ter and affection of her children? 

Perhaps some one will say, this is a pleasing pic- 
ture, but where are we to look for its reality? It is 
indeed to be regretted, that such scenes are of so 
unfrequent occurrence. But it is far from being true, 
that they do not occur. There are many such fam- 
ilies, of happy parents, and affectionate children. 
And these families are not confined to the wealthy 
and the learned. It requires not wealth, and it re- 
quires not extensive learning, to train up such a fam- 
ily. The principle of government is simple and 
plain. It is to begin with enforcing obedience to 
every command. It is to establish the principle that 
a mother's word is never to be disregarded. Every 
judicious parent will, indeed, try to gratify her chil- 
dren, in their reasonable wishes. She will study to 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 39 

make them happy. But she will never allow them 
to gratify themselves, in contradiction to her wishes. 

To illustrate this, let us refer to the children play- 
ing with the blocks. The mother tells them to put 
up the blocks. Maria asks permission to play a few 
moments longer, till she can finish her house. The 
mother, desirous of making her children as happy as 
she can, grants this reasonable wish. Here is a judi- 
cious indulgence. But suppose again that the chil- 
dren had continued playing without regard to their 
mother's command. They intend perhaps to con- 
tinue their amusement, only till they complete the 
pile, then in progress. Here is an act of direct dis- 
obedience. The children are consulting their own 
inclinations instead of the commands of their mother. 
A judicious parent will not allow such an act to pass 
unnoticed or unpunished. She may perhaps think, 
considering the circumstances of the case, that a 
serious reprimand is all that is required. But she 
will not fail to seize upon the occasion, to instil into 
their minds a lesson of obedience. 

Is it said that by noticing such little things a moth- 
er must be continually finding fault? But it is not a 
little thing, for a child to disobey a mother's com- 
mands. This one act of disregarding authority, pre- 
pares the way for another. It is the commencement 
of evil which must be resisted. The very first ap- 
pearances of insubordination must be checked. There 
are doubtless cases of trifling faults occurring, which 
a wise parent will judge it expedient to overlook. 



40 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

Children will be thoughtless, and inadvertent. They 
will occasionally err from strict propriety, without any 
real intention of doing -wrong. Judgment is here 
requisite in deciding what things must be overlooked. 
But ive may be assured, I think, that direct and open 
disobedience is not, in any case, to be classed among 
the number of trifling faults. The eating of an ap- 
ple banished our first parents from paradise. The 
atrocity of the offence consisted in its disobedience of 
a divine command. 

Now every mother has power to obtain prompt 
obedience, if she commences with her children when 
they are young. They are then entirely in her 
hands. All their enjoyments are at her disposal. 
God has thus given her all the power, that she may 
govern and guide them as she pleases. We have 
endeavored to shew, by the preceding illustrations, 
that the fundamental principle of government is, 
When you do give a command, invariably enforce its 
obedience. And God has given every mother the 
power. He has placed in your hands a helpless 
babe, entirely dependent upon you, so that if it diso- 
beys you, all you have to do, is to cut offits sources 
of enjoyment, or inflict bodily pain so steadily and so 
invariably, that disobedience and suffering shall be in- 
dissolubly connected in the mind of the child. What 
more power can a parent ask for, than God has already 
given? And if we fail to use this power for the pur- 
poses for which it was bestowed, the sin is ours, and 
upon us, and upon our children must rest the conse^ 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 41 

quences. The exercise of discipline must often be 
painful, but if you shrink from duty here, you expose 
yourself to all that sad train of woes, which disobe- 
dient children leave behind them. If you cannot 
summon sufficient resolution, to deprive of enjoyment, 
and inflict pain, when it is necessary, then you must 
feel that a broken heart, and an old age of sorrow, 
will not be unmerited. And when you look upon 
your dissolute sons, and ungrateful daughters, you 
must remember that the time was, when you might 
have checked their evil propensities. If you love 
momentary ease better than your children's welfare, 
and your own permanent happiness, you cannot mur- 
mur at the lot you have freely chosen. And when 
you meet your children at the bar of God, and they 
point to you and say, "It was your neglect of duty 
which has banished us from heaven, and consigned 
us to endless woe," you must feel what no tongue 
can tell. Ah, it is dreadful for a mother to trifle 
with duty. Eternal destinies are committed to your 
trust. The influence you are now exerting will go 
on, unchecked by the grave or the judgment, and 
will extend onwards through those ages to which 
there is no end. 



*4 



42 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



CHAPTER III. 

MATERNAL AUTHORITY- — CONTINUED. 

Upon the subject of obedience, there are a few 
other suggestions of importance to be made. 

1 . First, then, there is a very great diversity in the 
natural dispositions of children. Some are very ten- 
der in their feelings, and easily governed by affec- 
tion. Others are naturally independent and self- 
willed. Sometimes a child gets its passions excited, 
and its will determined, and it cannot be subdued but 
by a very great effort. Almost every faithful mother 
is acquainted with such contests, and she knows that 
they often form a crisis in the character of the child. 
If the child then obtain the victory, it is almost im- 
possible for the mother afterwards, to regain her au- 
thority. The child feels that he is the victor, and 
his mother the vanquished; and it is with very great 
difficulty that he will be compelled to renounce his 
independence. If, on the other hand, the mother 
conquer, and the child is subdued, he feels that the 
question is settled, and he has^ut little disposition to 
resume hostilities, with one who has proved herself 
superior. I have known many such contests, severe 
and protracted, which were exceedingly painful to a 
parent's feelings. But when once entered upon, they 
must be continued till the child is subdued. It is 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 43 

not safe, on any account, for the parent to give up, 
and retire vanquished. 

The following instance of such a contest occurred 
a few years since, A gentleman, sitting hy his fire- 
side one evening, with his family around him, took 
the spelling-book, and called upon one of his little 
sons to come and read. John was about four years 
old. He knew all the letters of the alphabet per- 
fectly, but happened at that moment to be in rather a 
sullen humor, and was not at all disposed to gratify 
his father. Very reluctantly, he came as he was bid, 
but when his father pointed, with his knife, to the first 
letter of the alphabet, and said, "What letter is that, 
Johni 3 " he could get no answer. John looked upon 
the book, sulky and silent. 

"My son," said the father, pleasantly, "you know 
the letter «#." 

"I cannot say A" said John. 

"You must;" said the father, in a serious and de- 
cided tone. "What letter is that?" 

John refused to answer. The contest was now 
fairly commenced. John was wilful, and determined 
that he would not read. His father knew that it 
would be ruinous to his son to allow him to conquer. 
He felt that he must, at all hazards, subdue him. He 
took him into another room, and punished him. He 
then returned, and again shewed John the letter. But 
John still refused to name it. The father again re- 
tired with his son, and punished him more severely. 
But it was unavailing. The stubborn child still re- 



44 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

fused to name the letter, and when told that it was A, 
declared that he could not say A. Again the father 
inflicted punishment as severely as he dared to do it, 
and still the child, with his whole frame in agitation, 
refused to yield. The father was suffering from the 
most intense solicitude. He regretted exceedingly 
that he had been drawn into the contest. He had 
already punished his child with a severity which he 
feared to exceed. And yet the wilful sufferer stood 
before him, sobbing and trembling, but apparently 
as unyielding as a rock. T have often heard that 
parent mention the acuteness of his feelings at that 
moment. His heart was bleeding at the pain which 
he had been compelled to inflict upon his son. He 
knew that the question was now to be settled, who 
should be master. And after his son had withstood 
so long and so much, he greatly feared the result. 
The mother sat by, suffering, of course, most acutely, 
but perfectly satisfied that it was their duty to subdue 
the child, and that in such a trying hour, a mother's 
feelings must not interfere. With a heavy heart, the 
father again took the hand of his son, to lead him out 
of the room for farther punishment. But to his in- 
conceivable joy, the child shrunk from enduring any 
more suffering, and cried, "Father, I'll tell the letter." 
The father, with feelings not easily conceived, took 
the book and pointed to the letter. 

"*#," said John distinctly and fully. 

"And what is that?" said the father, pointing to the 
next letter. 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 45 

"#," said John. 

"And what is that?" 

"C," he continued. 

"And what is that?" pointing again to the first let- 
ter. 

"A" said the now humbled child. 

"Now cany the book to your mother, and tell her 
what the letter is." 

"What letter is that, my son?" said the mother. 

"A" said John. He was evidently perfectly sub- 
dued. The rest of the children were sitting by, and 
they saw the contest, and they saw where was the 
victory. And John learnt a lesson, which he never 
forgot, — that his father had an arm too strong for him. 
He learned never again to wage such an unequal 
warfare. He learnt that it was the safest and happi- 
est course for him to obey. 

But perhaps some one says, it was cruel to punish 
the child so severely. Cruel! It was mercy and 
love. It would indeed have been cruel, had the 
father, in that hour, been unfaithful, and shrunk from 
his painful duty. The passions he was then, with so 
much self-sacrifice, striving to subdue, if left un- 
checked, would, in all probability, have been a curse 
to their possessor; and have made him a curse to his 
friends. It is by no means improbable that, upon the 
decisions of that hour, awaited the destinies of that 
child's eternity. It is far from improbable, that had 
he then conquered, all future efforts to subdue him, 
would have been in vain, and that he would have 



46 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

broken away from all restraint, and have been miser- 
able in life, and lost in death. Cruelty! The Lord 
preserve children from the tender mercies of those, 
who so regard such self-denying kindness. 

It is always best, if possible, to avoid such colli- 
sions. Many children are taught implicit obedience, 
without ever entering into such a contest with their 
parents. And- it is certainly preferable to govern a 
child by the mild procedure of ordinary discipline, 
than to enter into such a formidable conflict, where 
great severity is often required. Wisdom, therefore, 
teaches us to guard against giving a child an oppor- 
tunity of summoning all its energies to disobey. They 
are peculiar occasions, and peculiar moods of mind, 
which generally elicit this strength of rebellious feel- 
ing. A little foresight will often enable us, without 
surrender of authority, to calm the rising feeling, in- 
stead of exciting it to its utmost strength. We may 
sometimes, by judicious management, check the re- 
bellion in its first appearance, before it has gained 
sufficient strength to call all our power into exercise 
to put it down. 

As an illustration, let us suppose that James and 
Mary are playing together in the evening, and James 
gets vexed and strikes his sister. He has done this 
without any provocation, and ought to be punished, 
and to ask his sister's forgiveness. But the mother 
has perceived that, during the whole day, James has 
manifested a very unpleasant disposition. He has 
been irritable and unyielding. She sees that now he 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 47 

is excited and angry. Every parent knows that such 
variations of feeling are not uncommon. One day 
a child is pleasant and affectionate. The next, every 
thing seems to go wrong. Little things vex, and the 
whole disposition seems to be soured. The mother 
perceives that her son is in this frame of mind. He 
has done wrong and ought to ask his sister's forgive- 
ness. But she knows, that in this excited and un- 
amiable frame of mind, he will be strongly tempted 
to resist her authority. Unreasonably vexed as he 
is, it would be one of the hardest acts of submission 
for him to ask the forgiveness of his sister. If the 
mother tell him to do so, the temptation to refuse is 
so strong, that, in all probability, he will decline 
obeying. She must then punish him. And here 
comes the contest, which must be continued, if it is 
commenced, till the child submits. Now how is this 
contest to be avoided? By overlooking the fault? 
Most certainly not. The mother rises, takes James 
by the hand, and says, "My son, you have been 
doing very wrong; you are ill humored, and must 
not stay with us any longer; I will carry you to bed." 
She accordingly leads him away to his chamber. 

Just before leaving him for the night, she tells him 
in a kind but sorrowful tone, how much she is dis- 
pleased, and how much God must be displeased with 
his conduct. As usual, she hears him say his pray- 
ers, or kneels by the bed side, and prays that God 
will forgive him. She then leaves him to his own 
reflections and to sleep. 



48 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

He is thus punished for his fault. And as he lies 
in his bed, and hears his brothers and sisters, happy 
below stairs, he feels how much wiser and better it is 
to be a good boy. In the morning he awakes. 
Night has given repose to his excited feelings. He 
thinks how unhappy his yesterday's misconduct made 
him, and resolves to be more upon his guard for. the 
future. All his rebellious feelings are quelled by the 
soothing influence of sleep. His passions are not 
aroused. The mother can now operate upon his 
mind, without any fear of having a contest with a de- 
termined and stubborn will. 

When the children come down in the morning she 
calls James and Mary before her. Taking the hand 
of each, she mildly says, "My son, you made us all 
unhappy last night, by striking your little sister; I 
hope you are sorry for what you did." "Yes, moth- 
er, I am," says James; being led easily now to the 
feelings of penitence and submission, to which, during 
the moments of irritation and excitement, he could 
not, at least without great difficulty, have been driven. 
Thus, by judicious management, the desired object is 
attained, and perfectly attained, while the contest is 
avoided. The fault is not overlooked, and James is 
humbled. But had the mother, regardless of the 
child's peculiar state of feeling, commanded him im- 
mediately to ask forgiveness of his sister, it would, in 
all probability, have led to a scene, actually painful, 
to both mother and son. And the final effect of the 
discipline would, perhaps, have been less beneficial 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. • 49 

ypon the mind of the child. But cases will some- 
times occur, when it is not possible thus to waive the 
strife. When such an emergency rises, it is the duty 
of the parent, boldly and resolutely to meet it. If, 
from false feeling, you then shrink, you are recreant 
to the sacred trust which God has committed to your 
care.* Ts it kindness for a mother to let her child 
die, rather than compel it to take the bitter prescrip- 
tion, which is to restore it to health and strength? 
And is it kindness to let those passions conquer, 
which, unsubdued, will be, for time and for eternity, 
a scourge to their possessor? If there be any cruelty 
in the world, which is truly terrific, it is the cruelty 
of a falsely indulgent and unfaithful parent. Let it 
be particularly understood, however, that all we here 
inculcate is, firmness in the discharge of parental 
duty, in those cases where such collisions between 
parents and children are unavoidable. They can, 
however, in most cases, be avoided. If, for instance, 
a child disobeys you, you can simply punish it for the 
act of disobedience, and there let the difficulty end. 
It is not necessary that you should always require, 
that the thing at first commanded should be done. 
You direct a little girl to give a book to her sister. 
She refuses; and you may take two distinct courses 
to maintain your violated authority. You may go 
and take the book yourself, and give it to the sister 
and then inflict such a punishment upon the disobedi- 
ent one as the offence deserves. Or you may in- 
sist upon obedience; and, to enforce it, enter upon a 
5 



50 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

contest which may be long and painful. Now which- 
ever of these plans you adopt, be firm and decided 
in the execution of it. The former is, however, in 
almost all cases, the wisest and best. 

In the above remarks, allusion has been made to 
the variations of feeling to which children are subject. 
No one, who has had any thing to do with education, 
can have failed to observe this. Almost every indi- 
vidual is conscious of seasons, when he seems to be 
afflicted with a kind of morbid sensitiveness. Our 
spirits often rise and fall with bodily health; and he 
has gained a great victory over his body, and a great 
triumph of mind, who can invariably preserve the 
same calm and cheerful spirit, undisturbed by harass- 
ing cares, or the irritations of a diseased frame. The 
nervous system of some individuals is so delicately 
constructed, that an east wind, or a damp day, will 
completely unhinge the mind. When we see some 
of the wisest and best of men oppressed with these 
infirmities, we must learn forbearance and sympathy 
with children. At such- times, a judicious mother, 
knowing that the irritability is as much a bodily, as a 
mental infirmity, will do all in her power to calm and 
to soothe. She will avoid every thing calculated to 
jar the feelings, and will endeavor, by mild amuse- 
ments, or repose, to lull these feelings asleep. By 
this method, she will save the child much unhappi- 
ness, and will promote an amiable and sweet disposi- 
tion. Probably many children have had their feel- 
ings permanently soured, by utter disregard of these 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 51 

variations of mind. The disposition of a child is of 
too delicate a texture to be handled with a rough and 
careless grasp. Its affectionate and gentle feelings 
should be elicited by maternal sympathy and love. 
And we should endeavor to assuage its occasional 
irritability, by calling away the mind from objects of 
unpleasant excitement, and alluring it to cheering 
contemplations. 

It is clear that there is a striking difference in the 
natural dispositions of children; but nothing can be 
more evident, than that a good disposition may be 
soured by mismanagement, and that a child, of natu- 
rally unamiable feelings, may, by judicious culture, 
become mild and lovely. The cultivation of the dis- 
position is an important part of education. Hence 
the necessity of studying the moods and the feelings 
of the child, and of varying the discipline to meet 
these changes. Cases wiU undoubtedly arise, when 
the parent will find it difficult to judge what is duty. 
Such cases will, however, be unfrequent. The ob- 
vious general policy is, when a child is in this excited 
state, to remove him as much as possible from the 
power of temptation. And if he commits a fault, 
which it is necessary to notice, let the punishment be 
of such a kind as is calculated to soothe him. For 
instance, give him a comfortable seat by the fire, and 
tell him that he must not leave the chair for half an 
hour. Place in his hand some pleasing book, or 
some plaything, which will amuse him. In this way 



52 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

let the punishment be adapted to the peculiarity of 
the moral disorder. 

This is not the mockery of punishment which it 
may seem. The child feels it to be real, and it is 
of a nature to operate beneficially. Some faults, 
however, he may commit, which, under the cir- 
cumstances of the case, it may be inexpedient to 
notice. He may speak peevishly to his sister. The 
mother does not appear to notice it. She, however, 
sees the importance of immediately allaying this 
peevish spirit, and she endeavors to plan some 
amusement which will promote good humor. Per- 
haps she lays down her work, and joins the children 
in their amusements, till, through her happy influence* 
cheerfulness and good humor are restored. "Here 9 
my son," perhaps she says, "I should like to have you 
take your slate, and sit down in your chair, and see if 
you can draw some animal, so correctly, that I can 
tell what it is. And Maria, you may take your slate 
and chair, and sit by his side, and do the same." 
The children are quite animated with their new play. 
They are soon busily at work, and whispering togeth- 
er, that their mother may not hear what animals they 
are drawing. By this simple artifice, the little cloud 
of irritated feelings which was rising, is entirely dis- 
pelled. Had the mother, on the other hand, pun- 
ished the child, for the incidental peevishness of re- 
mark, the mind would not have been so speedily, or 
so pleasantly brought into its desired state, Or 3 had 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 53 

the mother taken no notice of the occurrence, the 
disposition of the child would have been injured, by 
the allowed increase of the ill humor. And, in all 
probability, a quarrel might soon have ensued. Con- 
stant watchfulness, on the part of the mother, will 
soon enable her to foresee many dangers, and pre- 
vent many difficulties. 

2. Never punish, when the child has not intention- 
ally done wrong. Children are often very unjustly 
punished. Things which are really wrong, are over- 
looked, and again, punishment is inflicted, on account 
of some accident, when the child is entirely innocent. 
Such a course of procedure, not only destroys, in the 
mind of the child, the distinction between accident 
and crime, but is in itself absolutely iniquitous. The 
parent has all the power, and she may be the most 
relentless tyrant, and the child can have no redress. 
There is no oppression more cruel, than that often 
thus exercised by passionate parents over their chil- 
dren. It is not un frequently the case that a mother, 
who does not intend to be guilty of injustice, neglects 
to make a proper distinction between faults and acci- 
dents. A child is playing about the room, and acci- 
dentally tears its clothes, or breaks a window with 
the ball which it is allowed to bounce upon the floor. 
The mother, vexed with the trouble it will cause her, 
hastily punishes the poor child. A child may be care- 
less, and so criminally careless, as to deserve punish- 
ment. In that case, it ought not to be punished for 
*5 



54 THE MOTHER AT KQME. 

the accident, but* for the carelessness, which is a fault, 
This injustice is far more extensively practised than 
is generally imagined. The most common cause of 
unjust punishment, is confounding the accidental con- 
sequences of an act ? with the real guilt which a child 
incurred while performing that act. We are all too 
much inclined to estimate guilt by consequences. A 
child who has been permitted to climb upon the chairs, 
and take things from the table, accidentally pushes 
off some valuable article. The mother severely pun- 
ishes the child. Now where did this child do wrong? 
You never taught him that he must not climb upon 
the table. Of course, in that there was no disobedi- 
ence, and he was not conscious of doing any thing 
improper. If merely a book had fallen, probably no 
notice would have been taken of it. But the simple 
fact that one thing fell instead of another, cannot alter 
the nature of the offence. If it had been the most 
valuable watch which had fallen, and thus had been 
entirely ruined, if it had occurred purely through ac- 
cident, the child deserves no punishment. Perhaps 
some one says, there is no need of arguing a point 
which is so clear. But is it not clear that such acts 
of injustice are very frequent? And is not almost 
every mother conscious that she is not sufficiently 
guarded upon this point? A mother must have great 
control over her own feelings;— a calmness and com- 
posure of spirit, not easily disturbed, or she will be 
occasionally provoked to acts of injustice, by the mis- 
fortunes of which her children are the innocent cause. 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 55 

Does any one ask what should be done in such 
cases as the one referred to? The answer is plain. 
Children ought to be taught not to do w T hat will ex- 
pose property to injury, and then if they do what is 
thus prohibited, consider them guilty, whether injury 
results or not. If the child, in the above-named case, 
had been so taught, this would have been an act of 
direct disobedience. And a faithful mother would 
probably pursue some such course as this. Without 
any manifestation of anger, she would calmly and 
seriously say to her son, 

"My son, I have often told you that you must not 
climb upon the table. You have disobeyed me." 

"But, mother," says the son, "I did not mean to 
do any harm." 

"I presume you did not, my son; I do not accuse 
you of doing harm, but of having disobeyed me. The 
injury was accidental, and you are not accountable 
for it, but the disobedience was deliberate, and very 
wrong." 

"I am very sorry to punish you, but [ must do it. 
It is my duty." 

She would then punish him, either by the infliction 
of pain, or by depriving him, for a time, of some of 
his usual privileges or enjoyments. The punishment, 
however, would be inflicted for the disobedience, and 
not for the accident which attended the disobedience. 
The child could not but feel that he was justly con- 
demned. 



56 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

But the question still remains, what is to be done, 
upon the original supposition, that the child had never 
been taught that it was wrong to climb upon the table, 
or to throw his ball about the room? In that case the 
mother has, manifestly, no right to blame the child. 
The fault is hers, in not having previously taught him 
the impropriety of such conduct. All she can now 
do, is to improve the occasion, to shew him the dan- 
ger of such amusements, and forbid them in future. 

If the child be very young, the mother will find it 
necessary occasionally to allude to the accident, that 
the lesson may be impressed upon the mind. If she 
did not do this, the occurrence might soon pass from 
its memory, and, in a few days, he might again, 
through entire forgetfulness, be engaged in his for- 
bidden sports. 

Allowance must also be made for the ignorance of 
a child. You have, perhaps, a little daughter, eigh- 
teen months old, who often amuses herself in tearing 
to pieces some old newspaper, which you give her. 
It is, to her, quite an interesting experiment. Some 
day, you happen to have your attention particularly 
occupied for a length of time, and, at last, raise your 
eyes, to see what keeps her so quiet upon the floor. 
Behold, she has a very valuable book in her hand, 
which she has almost entirely ruined, and your first 
impulse is to punish her, or, at least, severely to re- 
prove her for the injury. But has she really been 
doing any thing deserving of punishment or censure? 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 57 

Certainly not. How can she know that it is proper 
for her to tear one piece of paper, but wrong for her 
to tear another? She has been as innocently employ- 
ed as she ever was in her life. The only proper thing 
to be done, in such a case, is to endeavor to teach the 
child that a hook must be handled with care, and must 
not be torn. But how can she be taught this without 
punishing her? She may be taught by the serious 
tone of your voice, and the sad expression of your 
countenance, that she has been doing something 
which you regret. In this way, she may be easily 
taught the difference between a book and a news- 
paper. 

A little boy, about two years old, was in the habit 
of amusing himself, by scribbling upon paper, with a 
pencil. The father came into the room one day, 
and found that the little fellow had exceedingly de- 
faced a new book. The marks of his pencil were all 
over it. Perfectly unconscious of the mischief he 
was doing, the child continued his employment as the 
father entered. In many cases, the parent, in irrita- 
tion, would have roughly taken the book away, and 
inflicted a severe blow upon the cheek of the child. 
I thought I perceived that this was the first emotion 
in the mind of this parent, though he was of an unu- 
sually calm and collected spirit. If it was, however, 
he immediately saw its impropriety, for, approaching 
his child, he said, in a perfectly mild and pleasant 
tone, 

f( Oh! my son, my son, you are spoiling the book." 



58 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

The child looked up in amazement. 

"That. is a book, my son, you must not scribble 
upon that. See here," turning over the leaves, "you 
will spoil father's book. Here is some paper for you. 
You may write upon this, but you never must write 
in the book." 

The father then took the book, injured as it was, 
and laid it aside, without any exhibition of excited 
feeling. Now how manifestly is this the proper course 
to pursue, in such a case, and yet how few children 
are there, who, in such circumstances, would have 
escaped undeserved punishment. 

These illustrations are sufficient to shew the impor- 
tance of making allowance for ignorance, and for 
accidents. And they also shew how frequently chil- 
dren suffer, when they are not to blame. If a child 
is punished when innocent, as well as when guilty, 
the distinction between right and wrong is obliterated 
from his mind. Hence it becomes an important rule, 
in family government, never to punish when the child 
has not intentionally done wrong. 

3. Never think that your child is too young to 
obey. We are ingenious in framing excuses for neg- 
lecting our duty wilh our children. Atone time they 
are too young; again they are too sick. Some pa- 
rents always find an excuse, of one kind or another, 
for letting their children have their own way. A child 
may, at a very early age, be taught obedience. We 
can easily teach a kitten, or a little dog, that it must 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 59 

nor touch the meat which is placed before the fire, 
that it must leave the room when bidden, and a 
thousand other acts of ready obedience. A French- 
man has recently collected a large number of canary 
birds for a show. He has taught them such implicit 
obedience to his voice, as to march them in platoons 
across the room, and directs them to the ready per- 
formance of many simple manoeuvres. Now can it 
be admitted that a child, fifteen months or two years 
of age, is inferior in understanding to a canary bird? 
And must the excuse be made for such a child, that 
he does not know enough to be taught obedience? A 
very judicious mother, who has brought up a large 
family of children, all of whom are now in situations 
of respectability and usefulness, remarked, that it was 
her practice to obey her children for the first year of 
their life, but ever after, she expected them to obey 
her. She, of course, did not mean, by this remark, 
that the moment v the child was one year of age, a 
sudden and total change took place in her manage- 
ment. During the early months of its infancy, she 
considered it to be her duty to do every thing in her 
power to make the child comfortable and happy. 
She would endeavor to anticipate all its wants. She 
would he obedient to the wishes of the child. But 
by the time the child was one year of age, she con- 
sidered it old enough to be brought under the salu- 
tary regulations of a well disciplined family. I am 
aware that many parents will say, that this is altogeth- 
er too early a period to commence the government 



60 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

of a child, and others equally numerous, perhaps, will 
say that it is too late; — that a beginning should be 
made at a much earlier period. In fact the principle 
which really ought to guide, in such a case, is this, 
that the authority of the mother ought to be estab- 
lished over the child, as soon as it is able to under- 
stand a command or prohibition, expressed by looks 
and gestures. This is at a much earlier period, than 
most parents imagine. Let the mother who doubts 
it, try the experiment, and see how easily she can 
teach her child that he must not touch the tongs or 
andirons; or that, when sitting in her lap, at table, he 
must not touch the cups and saucers. A child may 
be taught obedience in such things, then, as well as at 
any period of its life. And how much trouble does 
a mother save herself, by having her child thus early 
taught to obey. How much pain and sorrow does 
she save her child by accustoming it, in its most ten- 
der years, to habits of prompt obedience. 

4. Guard against too much severity. By pursuing 
a steady course of efficient government, severity will 
very seldom be found necessary. If, when punish- 
ment is inflicted, it is done with composure and with 
solemnity, occasions for punishment will be very un- 
frequent. Let a mother ever be affectionate and 
mild with her children. Let her sympathise with 
them in their little sports. Let her gain their confi- 
dence, by her assiduous efforts to make them happy. 
And let her feel, when they have done wrong, not 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 61 

irritated, but sad, and punish them in sorrow, but not 
in anger. Fear is a useful and a necessary principle 
in family government. God makes use of it in gov- 
erning his creatures. But it is ruinous to the dispo- 
sition of a child, exclusively to control him by this 
motive. How unhappy must be that family, where 
the parent always sits, with a face deformed with 
scowls; and where the voice is always uttered , in 
tones o£ severity and command. Such parents we 
do see. Their children fear them. They are al- 
ways under restraint in their presence; and home 
becomes, to them, an irksome prison, instead of the 
happy retreat of peace and joy. But where the 
mother greets her children with smiles; and rewards 
their efforts to please her with caresses; and ad- 
dresses them in tones of mildness and affection, she 
is touching those chords in the human heart, which 
vibrate in sweet harmony; she is calling into action 
the noblest and the loveliest principles of our nature. 
And thus does she prepare the way for every painful 
act of discipline to come with effectual power 
upon the heart. The children know that she does 
not love to punish. In all cases, in which it can be 
done, children should thus be governed by kindness. 
But when kindness fails, and disobedience ensues, 
let not the mother hesitate for a moment to fall back 
upon her last resort, and punish as severely as is 
necessary. A few such cases will teach almost any 
child how much better it is to be obedient than dis- 
obedient. 

6 ' 



62 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

By being thus consistent and decided in govern- 
ment, and commencing with the infancy of each child, 
in all ordinary cases, great severity may be avoided. 
And it is never proper for a parent to be harsh, and 
unfeeling, and forbidding, in her intercourse with her 
children. The most efficient family government 
may be almost entirely administered by affection, if 
it be distinctly understood that disobedience cannot 
pass unpunished. I cannot but pity those unhappy 
children who dare not come to their parents in con- 
fidence and love; who are continually fearing stern 
looks and harsh words; and who are consequently 
ever desirous to get away from home, that they may 
enjoy themselves. Every effort should be made to 
make home the most desirable place; to gather around 
it associations of delight; and thus to form, in the 
mind of your child, an attachment for peaceful and 
purifying enjoyments. This will most strongly for- 
tify his mind against vice. And when he leaves the 
paternal roof, he will ever look back with fond recol- 
lections to its joys, and with gratitude to those who 
made it the abode of so much happiness. In future 
years too, when your children become the heads of 
families, they will transmit to their children, the prin- 
ciples which you have implanted. Thus may the in- 
fluence of your instructions, extend to thousands yet 
unborn. 

How little do we think of the tremendous respon- 
sibilities which are resting upon us; and of the wide 
influence, either for good or for evil, which we are 



the mother's difficulties. 63 

exerting. We are setting in operation a train of 
causes which will go down through all coming time. 
Long after we have gone to our eternal home, our 
words and our actions will be aiding in the formation 
of character. We cannot then arrest the causes which 
our lives have set in progress, and they will go on 
elevating immortals to virtue and to heaven, or urg- 
ing them onwards in passion and sin and wo. 



CHAPTER IV. 



The remarks which have already been made are 
so obvious that one is led to inquire, why is family 
government generally so defective ? Why do so few 
succeed in obtaining prompt obedience? There are 
many causes operating to produce this result. The 
rules of discipline may be simple and plain, and yet 
many motives may influence us to shrink from en- 
forcing them. 

1. One great obstacle is the want of self-control 
on the part of parents. How few persons are there 
who have gained that conquest over self, which ena- 
bles them to meet the various vicissitudes of life, with 
calmness and composure? How few are there who 
are not, occasionally at least, thrown off their guard, 
and provoked to the exhibition of excited and irri- 



64 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

tated feeling? And can a mother expect to govern 
her child, when she cannot govern herself? Family- 
government must most emphatically begin at home* 
It must begin in the bosom of the parent. She must 
learn to control herself; to subdue her own passions; 
she must set her children an example of meekness 
and of equanimity, or she* must reasonably expect 
that all her efforts to control their passions will be in- 
effectual. A child gets irritated and strikes his sister; 
and the mother gets irritated and whips the child. 
Now both mother and child have been guilty of pre- 
cisely the same crime. They have both been angry, 
and both, in anger, have struck another. And what 
is the effect of this sinful punishment? It may make 
the child afraid to strike his sister again. But will it 
teach that child that he has done wrong; — that it is 
wicked to be angry? Can it have any salutary effect 
upon his heart? He sees that his mother is irritated, 
and thus is he taught that it is proper for him to be 
angry. He sees that when his mother is irritated 
she strikes; and thus is he taught that the same course 
is proper for him. The direct effect of the punish- 
ment is to feed the flame, and strengthen the invete- 
racy of passion. In such s course as this, there is 
no moral instruction, and no salutary discipline. 
And yet a mother, who has not conquered self, — 
who cannot restrain the violence of her own passions, 
will often thus punish. When we see such a mother, 
with passionate and turbulent children, no second 
question need be asked, why they are not gentle and 



65 



obedient. And when we reflect how very seldom it 
is that we see an individual who may not be occa- 
sionally provoked to act from the irritation of the 
moment, we cannot wonder that the family so often 
presents a scene of uproar and misrule. 

This self-control, at all times, and under all cir- 
cumstances, is one of the most important and most 
difficult things to be acquired. Many parents have, 
from infancy, been unaccustomed to restraint, and 
they find a very great struggle to be necessary, to 
smother those feelings which will sometimes rise 
almost involuntarily. But we should ever remember 
that this must be done, or we cannot be faithful to 
our children. We must bring our own feelings and 
our own actic/ns under a system of rigid discipline, 
or it will be in vain for us to hope to curb the pas- 
sions and restrain the conduct of those who are look> 
ing to us for instruction and example. There will 
many cases occur, which will exceedingly try a moth- 
er's patience. Unless naturally blest with a peculiarly 
quiet spirit, or habituated, from early life, to habits of 
self-government, she will find that she has very much 
to do with her own heart. This point we would 
most earnestly urge, for it is of fundamental impor- 
tance. Anger is temporary insanity. And what can 
be more deplorable than to see a mother, in the par- 
oxysm of irritation, taking vengeance on her child. 
Let a mother feel grieved, and manifest her grief, 
when her child does wrong. Let her, with calmness 
and reflection, use the discipline which the case re~ 
*6 



66 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

quires. But never let her manifest irritated feeling., 
or give utterance to an angry expression. If her 
own mind is thus kept serene and unimpassioned, 
she will instruct by example, as well as precept. She 
will easily know, and more judiciously perform, her 
duty. And the superiority of her own conduct will 
command the respect and the admiration of her chil- 
dren. And until this is done, it will be impossible 
for a mother to enforce the rules of discipline, sim- 
ple and obvious as those rules are. 

2. Another great obstacle in the way is the want 
of resolution. It is always painful to a parent's feel- 
ings to deprive a child of any reasonable enjoyment, 
or to inflict pain. Hence we are ingenious in framing 
apologies to relieve ourselves from this duty. Your 
child does wrong, and you know that he ought to be 
punished. But you shrink from the duty of inflict- 
ing it. Now of what avail is it, to be acquainted 
with the rules of discipline, if we cannot summon 
resolution to enforce those rules? It will do no good 
to read one book and another, upon the subject of 
education, unless w T e are willing, with calm and steady 
decision, to punish our children, when the occasion 
requires. It is this weak indulgence ; this wicked 
refusal to perform painful duty which has ruined 
thousands of fnmilies. A mother will sometimes 
openly remonstrate with a father for punishing a 
stubborn child. She will call him cruel and unfeel- 
ing, and confirm her child in his wilfulness, by her 
wicked sympathy and caresses. 



67 

What can be expected from such a course as this? 
Such a mother is the most cruel and merciless ene- 
my which her child can have. Under such an influ- 
ence he will probably grow up in wretchedness, not 
only to curse the day in which he was born, but to 
heap still bitterer curses upon the mother who bore 
him. You can do nothing more ruinous to your 
child; — you can do nothing which will more effectu- 
ally teach him to hate and despise you; you can 
hardly do any thing which will, with more certainty, 
bring you in sorrow and disgrace to the grave, than 
thus to allow maternal feelings to influence you to 
neglect painful, but necessary acts of discipline. 

I would ask the mother who reads this book, if she 
has not often been conscious of a struggle between 
the sense of duty and inclination. Duty has told you 
to punish your child. Inclination has urged you to 
overlook its disobedience. Inclination has triumphed; 
and your child has retired victorious, and of course 
confirmed in his sin. Be assured that thus, in your 
own heart, lies one of the greatest obstacles to your 
success; and until this obstacle be surmounted, every 
thing else will be unavailing. It would by no means 
be difficult to fill this volume with cases illustrative of 
this fact, and of the awful consequences resulting. 

A few years since, a lady was left a widow, with 
several little sons. She loved them most devotedly. 
The affliction which she had experienced, in the loss 
of her husband, fixed her affections with more inten- 
sity of ardor and sensitiveness, upon her children. 



68 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

They were her only hope. Sad and joyless as she 
was, she could not endure to punish them, or to de- 
prive them of a single indulgence. Unhappy and 
misguided woman! Could she expect to escape the 
consequences of such a course? She was living upon 
the delusive hope that her indulgences would ensure 
their love. And now, one of these sons is seventeen 
years of age, a stout and turbulent and self-willed 
boy. He is altogether beyond the influence of ma- 
ternal restraint. He is the tyrant of the family, and 
his afflicted mother is almost entirely broken hearted 
by this accumulation of sorrow. The rest of the 
children are coming on in the same path. She sees 
and trembles in view of the calamity, which it is now 
too late to avert. It would be far happier for her to 
be childless, as well as a widow. Her children are 
her oppressors. She is their slave. It is impossible 
now to retrace her steps, or to retrieve the injury she 
has done her children and herself. Hardly any sit- 
uation can be conceived more truly pitiable. And 
what has caused this magnitude of sorrow? Simply 
the mother's reluctance to do her duty. She looked 
upon her poor fatherless children with all the tender 
emotions of a widowed mother, and could not bear 
to throw around them necessary restraint, and insist 
upon obedience to her commands. She knew per- 
fectly well that when they were disobedient, they 
ought to be punished; that it was her duty to enforce 
her authority. It was not her ignorance, which caused 
this dreadful wreck of happiness; it was the want of 



69 

resolution, — that fond and foolish and cruel tender- 
ness, which induced her to consult her own feelings, 
rather than the permanent welfare of her children. 

The reader will, perhaps, inquire whether this 
statement is a true account of a real case. It is a 
true account of a thousand cases all over our land. 
Mothers, we appeal to your observation, if you do 
not see, every where around you, these wrecks of 
earthly hopes. Have we not warnings enough to 
avoid this fatal rock? And yet it is the testimony of 
all, who have moved about the world with an observ- 
ing eye, that this parental irresolution is one of the 
most prominent causes of domestic afflictions. 

There must be energy of character, or acts of dis- 
cipline will be so inefficient as to do more harm than 
good. The spirit will be irritated, but not subdued. 
Punishment becomes a petty vexation, and its influ- 
ence is most decidedly pernicious. It is of the utmost 
importance, that when it is inflicted, it should be 
serious and effectual. And it is certain, that the 
mother who adopts prompt and decisive measures, 
will go forward with far less trouble to herself, and 
her child, and will, on the whole, inflict far less pain 
than the one who adopts the feeble and dilatory meas- 
ures, which we so often see. While the one must be 
continually threatening, and inflicting that mockery of 
punishment which is just enough to irritate the tem- 
per, and spoil the disposition; the other will usually 
find her word promptly obeyed, and will very seldom 
find it necessary to punish at all. 



70 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

But few persons have obtained a more correct 
knowledge of human nature than Buonaparte; and 
but few have ever acquired such a control over the 
human mind. It is said that there was once a formi- 
dable mob rioting in the streets of Paris, and carry- 
ing devastation wherever they went. One of his 
generals was sent out with a body of infantry to dis- 
perse the mob. He read the riot act. They laughed 
at it. He threatened to fire upon them. They de- 
fied him. He opened upon them a fire with blank 
cartridges. As volley after volley was discharged, 
and not a man fell, the mob laughed to scorn their 
impotent efforts. At last the general was compelled 
to load with ball. But, by this time, the passions of 
the mob were so excited and they had become so 
familiar with the harmless discharge of musquetry, 
that they stood firm when the ball came. They 
were gradually prepared for it. A pitched battle 
was the result, and it was not till after an immense 
massacre, that the infuriated populace were dis- 
persed. 

At another time, when the ravages of a Parisian 
mob were scattering terror through the city, Buona- 
parte led on at a quick step several companies of ar- 
tillery. Immediately upon arriving at the scene of 
devastation, the soldiers retiring to the right and left, 
opened upon the riotous multitude, the formidable 
cannon. Not a word was said; not a moment of 
hesitation intervened, but at once the voice of Buona- 
parte was heard in the thunders of the artillery, 



71 

and the compact mass of the multitude was ploughed 
through by the cannon ball. The mob, unprepared 
for such decisive measures, and terrified at the havoc, 
fled with the utmost precipitancy, in every direction. 
Then did he pour in his blank charges. Peal after 
peal thundered through the streets, adding to the con- 
sternation of the affrighted multitude, and in less than 
five minutes, scarce a solitary straggler was to be seen. 
Such were the measures which this extraordinary 
man adopted, and which gave him an ascendency 
over the public mind, almost unparalleled in the histo- 
ry of man. Some one afterwards suggested to him 
that it might have been more merciful, if he had first 
tried the effect of blank charges, and then, if neces- 
sary, had proceeded to extremities. But he very 
justly replied, that by such tardy measures, the mob 
would have had time to collect their courage, and 
many more would have fallen before they would 
have fled. The principle illustrated in this anecdote 
is of universal application. Real benevolence prompts 
to decisive measures. The mother who first coaxes; 
then threatens; then pretends to punish; then pun- 
ishes a little; is only making trouble for herself and 
sorrow for her family. But, on the other hand, if 
she promptly meets acts of disobedience, and with 
firmness, and inflicts necessary punishment, decided- 
ly and at once, she is in the most effectual way, pro- 
moting her own happiness, and the best welfare of 
her child. 



72 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

A parent is much more prone to be thus fatally in- 
dulgent, if a child is of a feeble and sickly constitu- 
tion. Such children are very generally spoiled. 
How strange, when God, in his mysterious provi- 
dence, lays his hand upon some little one, and causes 
it to languish in weakness and in suffering, that the, 
parent, on that very account, should neglect that 
child's welfare, and allow its passions to grow un- 
checked, its will to be stubborn and unsubdued. 
The mother perhaps is willing to do her duty, with 
her more robust son. She will do all in her power 
to control his passions, and make him a good and 
happy boy. But the poor little sufferer, she will in- 
dulge in all its caprices, till passion is strong and irri- 
tability is unconquerable, and the deeper sorrows of 
the mind, are thus added to the pains and weak- 
ness of the body. Oh, how much cruelty there is 
in the world, which goes by the false name of ten- 
derness, or love. Mother, have you a sick and suf- 
fering child? You are to that child a guardian angel, 
if, with mild and affectionate decision, you enforce 
your authority. Punish that child if it be necessary 
to teach him habitually and promptly to obey. If 
you do not do this, you are the bitterest enemy your 
child can have. You are doing that which has the 
most direct tendency to perpetuate its feebleness, and 
to promote its misery. And yet I know that some 
mothers will still say, "What, speak authoritatively, 
and even punish a poor little child, when sick! How 



< 73 

unfeeling!" There, there is the difficulty. Unkind, 
to do all in your power, to make your child patient 
and happy! A little girl, we will suppose, cuts, 
deeply, her hand. Her mother. is so kind, that she 
will not let a physician be called, for fear he should 
hurt her daughter, in probing and dressing the wound. 
Day after day, this hind mother beholds the increas- 
ing and extending inflammation. She strives, in her 
ignorance, to assuage the agony of the wound, till, 
after many days of excrutiating suffering, the physi- 
cian is called, to save her daughter's life, by ampu- 
tating the limb. When the accident first occurred, a 
few moments of attention and trifling pain would have 
prevented all these dreadful consequences. 

But the conduct of that mother is far more cruel, 
who will allow the rnind^s inflammation to increase 
and extend unchecked; who, rather than inflict the 
momentary pain which is necessary to subdue the 
stubborn will, and allay irritation, will allow the moral 
disorder to gain such strength as to be incurable. The 
consequences thus resulting, are far more disastrous. 
They affect man's immortal nature, and go on through 
eternity. There is no cruelty so destructive as this. 

Yet let it not be supposed that austerity is recom- 
mended. This is unnecessary, and is always to be 
avoided. Let the tones of the voice be affectionate 
and soothing. Let the mother sympathise, with her 
whole heart, in the trials and sufferings of her child. 
Let her be ingenious in devices for its amusement. 
But let her not ruin her precious treasure, by indulg- 
7 



74 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

ing it in peevishness, or disobedience. Your child 
cannot possibly be happy, unless taught to subdue his 
passions, and to be obedient to your will. We would 
have kindness, and gentleness, and love, ever diffus- 
ing joy through the family circle. But if you would 
see your children happy, and be happy yourself, you 
must, when your children are in sickness, as well as 
when they are in health, summon sufficient resolution 
to ensure propriety of behavior and obedience to your 
commands. 

Be firm then in doing your duty, invariably. Never 
refrain from governing your child, because it is pain- 
ful to maternal feelings. It is certainly wisely ordered 
by providence, that it should be painful to a parent's 
heart to inflict suffering upon a child. He who can 
punish without sympathy, without emotions of sorrow, 
cannot punish with a right spirit. Even our father in 
Heaven does not willingly afflict his children. But 
does he, on that account, withhold his discipline, and 
allow us to go on in sin unpunished? We must, in ear- 
nest prayer, look to him for strength and wisdom, and 
religiously do our duty. We must be willing to have 
our own hearts bleed, if we can thus save our children 
from the ravages of those passions, which, unchecked, 
will ruin their usefulness and peace. 

A child, a short time since, was taken sick with 
that dangerous disorder, the croup. It was a child 
most ardently beloved, and ordinarily very obedient. 
But in this state of uneasiness and pain, he refused to 
take the medicine, which it Was needful, without 



the mother's difficulties. 75 

delay, to administer. The father, finding him resolute, 
immediately punished his sick and suffering son. Un- 
der these circumstances, and fearing that his son might 
soon die, it must have been a most severe trial to the 
father. But the consequence was, that the child was 
taught, that sickness was no excuse for disobedience. 
And while his sickness continued, he promptly took 
whatever medicine was prescribed, and w T as patient 
and submissive. Soon the child was well. Does 
any one say this was cruel? It was one of the no- 
blest acts of kindness which could have been per- 
formed. If the father had shrunk from duty here, it 
is by no means improbable, that the life of the child 
would have been the forfeit. And this is the way to 
acquire strength of resolution; — by practising strength 
of resolution in every case. We must readily and 
promptly do our duty, be it ever so painful. 

3. Another great obstacle in the way of training up 
a happy and virtuous family, is the occasional want of 
harmony between parents; on the subject of educa- 
tion. Sometimes when a father is anxious to do his 
duty, the mother is a weak and foolish woman, who 
thinks that every punishment and every deprivation 
of indulgence is cruelty to her children. And when 
any one of them is punished, she will, by her caresses, 
do away the effect of the discipline, and convey to 
the mind of the child, the impression that his father is 
cruel and unjust. A man who has formed so unhappy 
a connexion, is indeed in a deplorable condition. 
And if his wife is incapable of being convinced of the 



76 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

ruinous consequences of such a course, he must take 
upon himself the whole duty of government. But as 
I am not now writing to fathers, I must turn from this 
case to another. It not unfrequently happens that a 
judicious and faithful mother is connected with a hus- 
band, whose principles and example are any thing but 
what she could desire. In such cases, not only does 
the whole government of the family devolve upon the 
mother, but the influence of the father is such, as, in 
a great degree, to counteract all her exertions. This 
is indeed a trying situation. It is, however, far from 
being a hopeless one. You must not give up in des- 
pair, but let the emergencies of the case rouse you to 
more constant watchfulness, and more persevering and 
vigorous effort. If a wife be judicious and consistent 
in her exertions, in almost all cases, a father will soon 
feel confidence in her management of her family, and 
will very gladly allow her to bear all the burden of 
taking care of the children. Such a father is almost 
necessarily, much of the. time, absent from home, 
and when at home, is not often in a mood to enjoy 
the society of his family. Let such a mother teach 
her children to be quiet and still when their father is 
present. Let her make every effort to accustom 
them to habits of industry. And let her do every 
thing in her power, to induce them to be respectful, 
and obedient, and affectionate to their father. This 
course is indeed the best which can be adopted, to 
reclaim the unhappy parent. The more cheerful you 
can make home to him, the stronger are the induce- 



the mother's difficulties. 77 

ments which are presented to draw him away from 
scenes into which he ought not to enter. 

It is true there is no situation more difficult, than 
the one we are now describing. But, that even these 
difficulties are not insurmountable, facts have not un- 
frequently proved. Many cases occur, in which the 
mother triumphantly surmounts them all, and rears 
up a virtuous and happy family. Her husband is 
most brutally intemperate; and I need not here de- 
pict the scenes through which such a mother is called 
to pass. She sees, however, that the welfare of the 
family is dependent upon her, and accordingly nerves 
her heart, resolutely, to meet her responsibilities. She 
commences, in the earliest infancy of her children, 
teaching them implicit obedience. She binds them 
to her with those ties, from which they never would 
be able or desirous to break. The most abundant 
success rewards her efforts. The older her children 
grow, the more respectful and attentive they become; 
for the more clearly they see, that they are indebted 
to their mother, for salvation from their father's dis- 
grace and woe. Every sorrow of such a mother is 
alleviated by the sympathy and affection of her sons. 
She looks around upon them with feelings of maternal 
gratification, which no language can describe. They 
feel the worth and the dignity of her character. 
Though her situation in life may be humble, and 
though her mind may not be stored with knowledge, 
her moral worth, and her judicious government, com- 
mands their reverence. 
*7 



78 THE MOTHER AT HOME* 

In a family of this sort, in a neighboring State, one 
cold December night, the mother was sitting alone by 
the fire, between the hours of nine and ten, waiting 
for the return of her absent husband. Her sons, fa- 
tigued with the labors of the day, bad all retired to 
rest. A little before ten,, her husband came in from 
the neighboring store, where he had passed the eve- 
ning with his degraded associates. He insisted upon 
calling up the boys at that unseasonable hour, to send 
into the wood lot, for a load of wood. Though there 
was an ample supply of fuel at the house, he would 
not listen to reason, but stamped and swore that the 
boys should go. The mother, finding it utterly in 
vain to oppose his wishes, called her sons, and told 
them that their father insisted upon their going with 
the team, to the wood lot. She spoke to them kindly; 
told them that she was sorry they must go; but, said 
she, "Remember that he is your father." Her sons 
were full grown young men. But at their mother's 
voice, they immediately rose, and, without a murmur, 
brought out the oxen and went to the woods. They, 
had perfect confidence in her judgment, and her man- 
agement. While they were absent, their mother was 
busy in preparing an inviting supper for them, upon 
their return. The drunken father soon retired. About 
midnight the sons finished their task, and entering the 
house, found their mother ready to receive them with 
cheerfulness and smiles. A bright fire was blazing 
on the hearth. The room was w T arm and pleasant. 
With keen appetites, and that cheerfulness of spirits, 



79 

which generally accompanies the performance of 
duty, those children sat down with their much loved 
parent, to the repast she had provided, and soon after, 
all were reposing in the quietude and the silence of 
sleep. 

Many a mother has thus been the guardian and the 
savior of her family. She has brought up her sons 
to industry, and her daughters to virtue. And in her 
old age, she has reaped a rich reward for all her toil, 
in the affections and the attentions of her grateful 
children. She has struggled, in tears and discour- 
agement, for many weary years, till at last God has 
dispelled all the gloom, and filled her heart with joy, 
in witnessing the blessed results of her fidelity. Be 
not, therefore, desponding. That which has once 
been done, may be done again. 

From what has been said in this chapter, it appears 
that self-control and resolution, are the two all-impor- 
tant requisites in family government. With these two 
qualifications, which a person is inexcusable in not 
possessing, almost every other obstacle may be sur- 
mounted. Without these, your toil and solicitude 
will, in all probability, be in vain. 

Your faithful exertions, attended with God's ordi- 
nary blessing, will open to you daily new sources of 
enjoyment, in the unfolding virtues and expanding 
faculties of your children. Your decisive government 
will, most undoubtedly, be rewarded with the affec- 
tion and respect of those, whom you are training up 
to usefulness and happiness. And when old age 



80 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

comes, your children will welcome you to their 
homes, and rejoice to give you a seat hy their fire- 
side, and by unremitted attentions will do all in their 
power to prove how deeply they feel that debt of 
gratitude, which never can be fully repaid. Such 
joys will obliterate the remembrance of all present 
toils and sorrows. Let these hopes cheer you to go 
on rejoicing in the path of duty. 



CHAPTER V. 

FAULTS AND ERRORS. 

There are many faults in family government, which 
have been handed down from generation to genera- 
tion, and have become almost universally diffused. 
They are so general, and we have been so long ac- 
customed to them, that their glaring impropriety 
escapes our notice. The increasing interest now felt 
in the subject of education, by leading parents to 
read and to think, has taught many to avoid those 
errors, which still very generally prevail. There are 
many parents who have not facilities for obtaining 
books upon this subject, and who have not been led 
to reflect very deeply upon their responsibilities. 
Some of these errors are such, that an apology seems 
almost necessary for cautioning mothers against them, 
since common sense so plainly condemns them. But 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 



81 



let it be remembered how large a portion of the moth- 
ers of our land, are, by their situation, deprived of 
those sources of "information and excitements to 
thought, which God has conferred upon others. 

1. Do not talk about children in their presence. 
We are very apt to think that children do not under- 
stand what we say to one another, because they are 
unable to join in the conversation themselves. But 
a child's comprehension of language is far in advance 
of his ability to use it. I have been much surprised 
at the result of experiments upon this subject. A lit- 
tle child creeping upon the floor, and who could not 
articulate a single word, was requested to carry a 
piece of paper across the room, and put it in a chair. 
The child perfectly comprehended the direction, and 
crept across the room and did as he was bidden. An 
experiment or two of this kind, will satisfy any one 
how far a child's mind is in advance of his power to 
express his ideas. And yet, when a child is three or 
four years old, parents will relate in their presence, 
shrewd things which they have said and done; some- 
times even their acts of disobedience will be men- 
tioned with a smile. The following conversation 
once passed between a mother, whose child, of three 
years of age, was standing by her side, and a visiter. 

"How does little Charles do?" said the lady. 

"Oh," replied the mother, with a smile, "he is 
pretty well, but he is the greatest rogue you ever 
saw; I can do nothing with him." 



82 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



"Why?" said the lady, "he does not look like a 
stubborn child." 

"No," the mother replied, "he has not a bad dis- 
position, but," she continued, smiling, "he is so fond 
of mischief, that I can never make him mind me. 
He knows that he must not touch the andirons, but 
just before you came in, he went and put one of his 
fingers on the brass, and looked me directly in the 
face. I told him he must take of? his hand; and he 
put another finger on. I tried to look cross at him; 
but he, instead of stopping, rubbed his whole hand 
over the brass, and then ran away, laughing as heart- 
ily as he could. He did it, I suppose, on purpose to 
plague me, he is such a rogue." 

We insert this rather undignified story, that the 
mothers who may read this chapter, may know ex- 
actly what we mean by the caution we are urging. 
Now to say nothing of that maternal unfaithfulness, 
which would permit such acts of disobedience, how 
ruinous upon the mind of the child, must be the effect 
of hearing his conduct thus spoken of and applauded. 
This perverse little fellow was more interested in the 
narration, than either mother or visiter, and the im- 
pression produced upon his mind was stronger. The 
child was taught a lesson of disobedience, not soon 
to be forgotten. 

There are many little artifices, which a child will 
practice, which are decidedly to be discountenanced, 
but at which a parent can scarce refrain from smiling. 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 83 

These proofs of mental quickness and ingenuity, are 
gratifying to parental feelings. They give promise of 
a mind susceptible of a high degree of cultivation, if 
properly guided and restrained. And there are play- 
ful and affectionate feats of childhood, which are 
pleasing on every account. They shew good feel- 
ings, as well as an active intellect. Parents will 
speak to one another, of those innumerable little oc- 
currences, which are daily gratifying them. But if 
these things are mentioned in the presence of the 
child, and applauded, its little heart is puffed up with 
vanity. How slight a degree of flattery will often 
awaken emotions of most disgusting self-conceit, even 
in individuals of mature minds? How few persons 
are there who can bear praise? Vanity is almost an 
universal sin. None are so low, and none so high, 
as to be freed from its power. And can a child bear 
uninjured, that praise, which has ruined so many mew? 
Here lies one cause of the self-conceit so often visible 
in the nursery. We flatter our children, without 
being conscious that they are so greedily drinking 
in the flattery. We do not give them credit for the 
amount of understanding they actually possess. It is 
true, almost all children are regarded by their parents, 
as unusually intelligent. This arises from the fact, 
that we are daily observing the unfoldings of the 
minds of the little ones who surround our firesides, 
while we have no opportunity of noticing the mental 
developements of others. But notwithstanding all 
this strength of parental partiality, we ordinarily con- 



84 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

sider children far less intelligent than they in reality 
are; and a mother will often talk as unguardedly, in 
the presence of her child, who is three or four years 
of age, as she did in the presence of her infant of so 
many months. The necessity of caution upon this 
subject, will be obvious to every parent, upon a mo- 
ment's reflection. Let nothing be said in the hear- 
ing of a child, that w T ould tend to excite its vanity. 
Guard against the possibility of his supposing that he 
does and says remarkable things, and is superior to 
other children. 

But though a parent may restrain her ow T n tongue, 
it is more difficult to restrain the tongues of others. 
Many visiters make it a constant habit to natter the 
children, wherever they go. Regardless of the ruip- 
ous effects upon their tender and susceptible minds, 
they think only of pleasing the parents. Beautiful 
children are thus peculiarly exposed. How common 
is it for a child of handsome countenance to have 
a spoiled temper. This is so frequently the case, 
that many persons have supposed that "spoiled 
beauty" are words never to be separated. I once 
knew a little boy, of unusually bright and animated 
countenance. Every one who entered the house, 
noticed the child, and spoke of his beauty. One 
day a. gentleman called, upon business, and being 
engaged in conversation, did not pay that attention to 
the child, to which he was accustomed, and which 
he now began to expect as his due. The vain little 
fellow made many efforts to attract notice, but not 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 85 

succeeding, he at last placed himself full in front of 
the gentleman, and asked, "Why don't you see how 
beautiful I be?" The feeling, it is true, is not often 
so openly expressed, but nothing is more common 
than for it to be excited in precisely this way. 

It is surely a duty to approve children when they 
do right, and to disapprove when they do wrong. 
But great caution should be used to preserve a child 
from hearing any thing which will destroy that most 
lovely trait of character,— an humble spirit. It is, on 
this account, often a misfortune, to a child, to be un- 
usually handsome or forward. It is so difficult to 
preserve it from the contaminations of flattery, that 
what might have been a great benefit, becomes a 
serious injury. 

2. Do not make exhibitions of your children' 's at- 
tainments. And here we must refer again to the 
danger of exciting vanity. There is no passion 
more universal, or with greater difficulty subdued. 
An eminent clergyman was once leaving his pulpit, 
when one of his parishioners addressed him, highly 
commending the sermon he had just uttered. "Be 
careful, my friend," said the clergyman, "I carry a 
tinder box in my bosom." And if the bosom of an 
aged man of piety and of prayer may be thus easily 
inflamed, must there not be great danger in shewing 
off a child to visiters, who will most certainly flatter 
its performance? You have taught your daughter 
some interesting hymns. She is modest, and unas- 
suming, and repeats them with much propriety. A 
8 



86 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

friend calls, and you request the child to repeat her 
hymns. She does it. Thus far there is, perhaps, no 
injury done. But as soon as she has finished, your 
friend begins to flatter. Soon another and another 
friend calls, and the scene is continually repeated, 
till your daughter feels proud of her performance. 
She becomes, indeed, quite an actress. And the 
hymn which was intended to lead her youthful heart 
to God, does but fill that heart with pride. Must -it 
not be so? How can a child withstand such strong 
temptations? Parents may shew their children that 
they are gratified in witnessing their intellectual at- 
tainments. And this presents a motive sufficiently 
strong to stimulate them to action. But when they 
are exposed to the indiscriminate and injudicious 
flattery of whoever may call, it is not for a moment 
to be supposed, that they will retain just views of 
themselves. It must, however, be allowed, that, with 
some children, the danger is much greater than with 
others. Some need much encouragement; while 
others need continual restraint. Who has not noticed 
the thousand arts which a vain child will practise, 
simply to attract attention? Who has not seen such a 
spoiled one, take a book and read, occasionally cast- 
ing a furtive glance from the page to the visiter, to see 
if the studious habit is observed? And can such a 
child be safely exhibited to strangers? It may, per- 
haps, at times, be an advantage to a modest child, to 
repeat a hymn or something of that nature, to a judi- 
cious friend. If the clergyman of the parish feel 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 87 

that interest in children, which he ought to cherish, 
he will regard all the little ones of his flock, with pa- 
rental affection. He ought not to be considered as 
a stranger in the family. Children may appear before 
him, with confidence and affection, and if he has the 
spirit of his master, he will cautiously guard against 
flattery, and endeavor to improve the occasion by 
leading the mind to serious thoughts. But the prac- 
tice of making a show of children; of exhibiting their 
little attainments, is certainly reprehensible; and it is, 
we fear, not only common, but increasing. The fol- 
lowing remarks upon this subject, are from the pen 
of an individual, who combines much shrewdness of 
observation, with extensive experience. "I always 
felt pain for poor little things, set up before company 
to repeat verses, or bits of plays at six or eight years 
old. I have sometimes not known which way to look, 
when a mother, (and, too often, a father,) whom I 
could not but respect, on account of her fondness for 
her child, has forced the feeble voiced eighth wonder 
of the world, to stand with its little hand stretched 
out, shouting the soliloquy of Hamlet, or some such 
thing. I do not know any thing much more distress- 
ing to the spectators, than exhibitions of this sort. 
Upon these occasions, no one knows what to say, or 
whither to direct his looks. If I had to declare, on 
my oath, which have been the most disagreeable mo- 
ments of my life, I verily believe that, after due con- 
sideration, I should fix upon those, in which parents, 
whom I have respected, have made me endure exhi- 



88 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

bitions like these; for this is your choice, to be insin- 
cere, or to give offence. The plaudits which the 
child receives, in such cases, puffs it up, in its own 
thoughts, sends it out into the world stuffed with pride 
and insolence, which must and will be extracted from 
it, by one means or another. Now parents have no 
right thus to indulge their own feelings, at the risk 
of the happiness of their children." Scenes similar 
to those above described will at once occur to the 
recollection of the reader. And the fact that such 
are the feelings of many strangers, in general, is of 
itself amply sufficient to discountenance the practice. 
There are two extremes, which it is necessary to 
avoid. The one is that of secluding children alto- 
gether from society; the other is, of wearying our 
friends, by their presence and their ceaseless talk. 
If we consider our children as troubles, to be kept 
out of the way, whenever we wish for social enjoy- 
ment; if the entrance of a fe w friends to pass the 
evening, is the signal for their immediate departure 
to another room, how can we expect them to im- 
prove, or to become acquainted with the proprieties 
of life. They must listen to the conversation, and 
observe the manners of their superiors, that their 
minds and their manners may be improved. Not 
long since, I heard a gentleman speaking of an unu- 
sually interesting family he had just visited. It was 
known that he was coming to pass the evening. As 
he entered the room he saw three little children sit- 
ting quietly and silently by the fire. The mother was. 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 89 

sitting by the table, with her sewing. The father was 
rising to receive him. The children remained for an 
hour or more, listening with interest to the conversa- 
tion, which passed between their parents and the gen- 
tleman. They made not the least interruption, but 
by their presence and cheerful looks, contributed 
much to the enjoyment of the evening. At eight 
o'clock, the mother said, "Children it is eight." 
Without another word, they all rose and left the 
room. The mother soon followed, and after being 
absent a few moments, returned. Now how much 
enjoyment is there in such a family as this! And 
how much improvement do the children derive from 
being accustomed to the society of their superiors. 
In this way, they are taught humility, for they see 
how much less they know, than others. They gain 
information, and their minds are strengthened, by the 
conversation they hear. Their manners are improved, 
for children learn more by example, than precept. 
Tf you would enjoy these pleasures, and confer upon 
your children these benefits, it is indispensable that 
they be habitually well governed. Nothing can be 
more hopeless, than to expect that children will con- 
duct properly when company is present, if at other 
times, they are uncontrolled. 

Some parents, feeling the importance that their 
children should enjoy good society, and at the same 
time having them under no restraint, deprive them- 
selves and their visiters of all enjoyment, and their 
children of all benefit. We do not like even in im- 
*8 



90 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

agination to encounter the deafening clamor of such 
a scene. Some are lolling about the stranger's chair; 
— some crying; — some shouting. The mother is pull- 
ing at the gown of one, and scolding at another. The 
visiter, distracted with the noise, endeavors in vain to 
engage in conversation. The time, and attention, 
and patience of the parents, are absorbed by their 
lawless family. The visiter, after enduring the up- 
roar for half an hour, is happy in making his escape. 
Where can there be pleasure, and where can there 
be profit, in such a scene as this. 

There are many advantages, in encouraging an in- 
quisitive spirit in a child. It has entered upon a world 
where every thing is new and astonishing. Of course 
it is hourly meeting with objects upon which it de- 
sires information. But as soon as a child finds, that 
his parents encourage him in asking questions, he 
begins to think that it is a very pretty thing. He will 
be incessantly presenting his inquiries. His motive 
will cease to be the gratification of a reasonable and 
commendable curiosity, and he will desire merely to 
display his skill, or to talk for the sake of talking. It 
is very necessary to restrain children in this respect. 
Their motives are generally distinctly to be seen. 
And if the motive which prompts the question be im- 
proper, let the child receive marks of disapprobation, 
and not of approval. 

"Mother, what is the coffee pot for?" said a child 
of three years, at the breakfast table. 

"It is to put the coffee in," said the mother. 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 91 

"And why do you put the coffee in the coffee pot?' 
"Because it is more convenient to pour it out." 
"And what," said the child, hesitating, and look- 
ing around the table to find some new question; — 
"And what — are the cups for?" 
"They are to drink from." 
"And w T hy do you drink out of the cups?" 
In this manner the child, during the whole time 
allotted for the breakfast, incessantly asked his ques- 
tions. The mother as continually answered them., 
She had adopted the principle, that her child must 
always be encouraged in asking questions. And by 
blindly and thoughtlessly following out this principle, 
she was puffing up his heart with vanity, and making 
him a most unendurable talker. The common sense 
principle, to guide us upon this subject, is obvious. 
Tf the motive be good, and the occasion suitable, let 
the child be encouraged in his inquiries. If other- 
wise, let him be discouraged. A child is sitting at 
the breakfast table with his father and mother. The 
mother lifts the top of the coffee pot, and the child 
observes the contents violently boiling. 

"Mother," says the little boy, "what makes the 
coffee bubble up so?" 

Here the motive is good and the occasion is proper. 
And one of the parents explains to the child the chem- 
ical process, which we call the boiling. The parents 
have reason to be gratified at the observation of the 
child, and the explanation communicates to him valu- 
able knowledge. But perhaps a stranger is present, 



92 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

with whom the father is engaged in interesting con- 
versation. Under these circumstances, the child asks 
the same question. It is, however, unseasonable. 
He ought to be silent, when company is present. 
The mother accordingly replies, "My son, you should 
not interrupt your father. You must be perfectly 
silent, and listen to what he is saying." 

She does not, however, forget the question, but 
embraces some opportunity of again alluding to it. 
She gives him an answer, and shows him that it is 
very impolite to interrupt the conversation of others, 
or to engross attention when company is present. 
Much pleasure is destroyed, and much improvement 
prevented, by permitting the conversation of friends 
to be interrupted, by the loquacity of children. 

Some parents, to avoid this inconvenience, imme- 
diately send their children from the room, when vis- 
iters arrive. This is treating children with injustice, 
and the parents must reap the mortifying conse- 
quences in their uncultivated manners and unculti- 
vated minds. Hence, in many gentlemen's families 
you find awkward and clownish children. If chil- 
dren are banished from pleasing and intelligent soci- 
ety, they must necessarily grow up, rude and ignorant. 
The course to be pursued, therefore, is plain. They 
should be often present, when friends visit you. But 
they should be taught to conduct properly — to sit in 
silence and listen. They should not speak unless 
spoken to. And above all, they should not be thrust 
forward upon the attention of visiters, to exhibit their 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 93 

attainments, and receive flattery as profusely as your 
friends may be pleased to deal it out. 

3. Do not deceive children. Many are unaware 
of the evil consequences which result from this com- 
mon practice. A physician once called to extract a 
tooth from a child. The little boy seeing the formi- 
dable instruments, and anticipating the pain, was ex- 
ceedingly frightened, and refused to open his mouth. 
After much fruitless solicitation, the physician said, 
"Perhaps there is no need of drawing it. Let me 
rub it a little with my handkerchief, and it may be 
all that is necessary; it will not hurt you in the least." 
The boy, trusting his word, opened his mouth. The 
physician, concealing his instrument in his handker- 
chief, seized hold of the tooth and wrenched it out. 
The parents highly applauded his artifice. But the 
man cheated the child. He abused his confidence. 
And he inflicted an injury upon his moral feelings, 
not soon to be effaced. Will that physician get his 
handkerchief irrto the mouth of the child again? Will 
he believe what the physician may hereafter say? 
And when told that it is wicked to say that which is 
not true, will not the remembrance of the doctor's 
falsehood be fresh in his mind? And while conscious 
that his parents approved of the deception, will he 
not feel it to be right for him to deceive, that he may 
accomplish his desires? This practice is attended 
with the most ruinous consequences. It unavoidably 
teaches the child to despise his parents. After he 
has detected them in one falsehood, he will not be- 



94 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

lieve them when they speak the truth. It destroys 
his tenderness of conscience. And it teaches arts of 
deception. And what are the advantages? Why, in 
one particular instance, the point is gained? 

Let compulsion be resorted to when necessary, 
but deception never. If a child cannot place im- 
plicit confidence in his parent, most assuredly no 
confidence can be reposed in the child. Is it possi- 
ble for a mother to practise arts of deception and 
falsehood; and at the same time her daughter be 
forming a character of frankness and of truth? Who 
can for a moment suppose it? We must be what we 
wish our children to be. They will form their char- 
acters from ours. 

A mother was once trying to persuade her little 
son to take some medicine. The medicine was very 
unpalatable, and she, to induce him- to take it, de- 
clared it did not taste bad. He did not believe her. 
He knew, by sad experience, that her word was not 
to be trusted. A gentleman and friend who was 
present, took the spoon, and said, 

"James, this is medicine, and it tastes very badly. 
I should not like to take it, but I would if necessary. 
You have courage enough to swallow something 
which does not taste good, have you not?" 

"Yes," said James, looking a little less sulky. 
"But that is very bad indeed." 

"I know it," said the gentleman, "I presume you 
never tasted any thing much worse." The gentle- 
man then tasted of the medicine himself, and said, 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 95 

"It is really very unpleasant. But now let us see if 
you have not resolution enough to take it, bad as 
it is." 

The boy hesitatingly took the spoon. 
"It is, really, rather bad," said the gentleman, 
"but the best way is to summon all your resolution, 
and down with it at once, like a man." 

James made, in reality, a great effort for a child, 
and swallowed the dose. And who will this child 
most respect, his deceitful mother, or the honest 
dealing stranger? And who Will he hereafter most 
readily believe? It ought, however, to be remarked, 
that had the child been properly governed, he would 
at once, and without a murmur, have taken what his 
mother presented. It is certainly, however, a sup- 
posable case, that the child might, after all the argu- 
ments of the gentleman, still have refused to do his 
duty. What course should then be pursued? Resort 
to compulsion, but never to deceit. We cannot de- 
ceive our children without seriously injuring them, 
and destroying our own influence. Frank and open 
dealing is the only safe policy in family government, 
as well as on the wider theatre of life. The under- 
hand arts and cunning manoeuvres of the intriguer, 
are sure, in the end, to promote his own overthrow. 
Be sincere and honest, and you are safe. The only 
sure way of securing beneficial results, is by virtuous 
and honorable means. 

4. Do not be continually finding fault. It is at 
times necessary to censure and to punish. But very 



96 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

mucJh may be done, by encouraging children when 
they do well. Be even more careful to express 
your approbation of good conduct, than your disap- 
probation of bad. Nothing can more discourage a 
child, than a spirit of incessant fault rinding, on the 
part of its parent. And hardly any thing can exert 
a more injurious influence upon;, the disposition both 
of the parent and the child. ' There are two great 
motives influencing human actions} hope and fear. 
Both of these are at times necessary. But who 
would not prefer to have her child influenced to good 
conduct, by the desire of pleasing, rather than by the 
fear of offending. If a mother never expresses her 
gratification, when her children do well, and is always 
censuring when she sees any thing amiss, they are 
discouraged and unhappy. They feel that there is 
no use in trying to please. Their dispositions be- 
come hardened and soured by this ceaseless fretting. 
At last, finding that whether they do well or ill, they 
are equally found fault with, they relinquish all efforts 
to please, and become heedless of reproaches. 

But let a mother approve of her child's conduct 
wherever she can. Let her show that his good be- 
havior makes her sincerely happy. Let her reward 
him for his efforts to please, -by smiles and affection. 
In this way she will cherish in her child's heart, some 
of the noblest and most desirable feelings of our na- 
ture. She will cultivate in him an amiable disposi- 
tion and a cheerful spirit. Your child has been, 
during the day, very pleasant and obedient. Just 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 97 

before putting him to sleep for the night, you take 
his hand and say, "My son, you have been a very 
good boy to-day. It makes me very happy to see 
you so kind and obedient. God loves little children 
who are dutiful to their parents, and He promises to 
make them happy." This approbation from his 
mother, is, to him a great reward. And when, with 
a more than ordinarily affectionate tone, you say, 
"good night, my dear son," he leaves the room, with 
his little heart full of feeling. And when he closes 
his eyes for sleep, he is happy, and resolves that he 
will always try to do his duty. 

Basil Hall thus describes the effects produced on 
board ship, by the different modes of government, 
adopted by different commanders. 

"Whenever one of these commanding officers came 
on board the ship, after an absence of a day or two, 
and likewise when he made his periodical round of 
the decks after breakfast, his constant habit was to 
cast his eye about him, in order to discover what was 
wrong; to detect the smallest thing that was out of 
its place; in a word, to find as many grounds for cen- 
sure as possible. This constituted, in his opinion, 
the best preventive to neglect, on the part of those 
under his command; and he acted in this crusty way 
on principle. The attention of the other officer, on 
the contrary, appeared to be directed chiefly to those 
points which he could approve of. For instance, he 
would stop as he went along, from time to time, and 
say to the first lieutenant, "Now, these ropes are very 



98 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

nicely arranged; this mode of stowing the men's bags 
and mess kids, is just as I wish to see it." 

"While the officer first described would not only 
pass by these well-arranged things, which had cost 
hours of labor to put in order, quite unnoticed, but 
would not be easy till his eye had caught hold of some 
casual omission, which afforded an opening for dis- 
approbation. One of these captains would remark 
to the first lieutenant, as he walked along, "How 
white and clean you have got the decks to-day! I 
think you must have been at them all the morning, 
to have got them into such order." The other, jo 
similar circumstances, but eager to find fault, would 
say, even if the decks were as white and clean as 
drifted snow — "I w 7 ish to heaven, sir, you would teach 
these sweepers to clear away that bundle of shak- 
ings!" pointing to a bit of rope-yarn, not half an inch 
long, left under the truck of a gun. It seemed, in 
short, as if nothing was more vexatious to one of these 
officers, than to discover things so correct as to afford 
him no good opportunity for finding fault; while to 
the other, the necessity of censuring really appeared 
a punishment to himself. 

"Under the one, accordingly, we all worked with 
cheerfulness, from a conviction that nothing we did 
in a proper way would miss approbation. 

"But our duty under the other, being performed 
in fear, seldom went on with much spirit. We had 
no personal satisfaction in doing things correctly, from 
the certainty of getting no commendation. 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 99 

"The great chance, also, of being censured, even 
in those cases where we had labored most indus- 
triously to merit approbation, broke the spring of all 
generous exertion, and, by teaching us to anticipate 
blame, as a matter of course, defeated the very pur- 
pose of punishment when it fell upon us. The case 
being quite hopeless, the chastisement seldom con- 
duced either to the amendment, of an offender, or to 
the prevention of offences. But what seemed the 
oddest thing of all was, that these men were both as 
kind-hearted as could be, or, if there were any differ- 
ence, the fault-finder was the better matured, and, in 
matters not professional, the more indulgent of the 
two. 

"The line of conduct I have described, was pure- 
ly a matter of official system, not a*t all of feeling. 
Yet, as it then appeared, and still appears to me, 
nothing could be more completely erroneous than the 
snarling method of the one, or more decidedly cal- 
culated to do good, than the approving style of the 
other. It has, in fact, always appeared to me an ab- 
surdity, to make any real distinction between public 
and private matters in these respects. 

"Nor is there the smallest reason why the same 
principle of civility, or consideration, or by whatever 
name that quality be called, by which the feelings of 
others are consulted, should not modify professional 
intercourse quite as much as it does that of the freest 
society, without any risk that the requisite strictness 



100 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

of discipline would be hurt by an attention to good 
manners. 

"The desire of discovering that things are right, 
accompanied by a sincere wish to express that appro- 
bation, are habits which, in almost every situation in 
life, have the best possible effects in practice. 

"They are vastly more agreeable certainly to the 
superior himself, whether he be the colonel of a reg- 
iment, the captain of a ship, or the head of a house; 
for the mere act of approving, seldom fails to put a 
man's thoughts into that pleasant train which predis- 
poses him to be habitually pleased, and this frame of 
mind, alone essentially helps the propagation of a 
similar cheerfulness amongst all those who are about 
him. It requires, indeed, but a very little experience 
of soldiers or sailors, children, servants, or any other 
kind of dependents, or even of companions and supe- 
riors, to shew that this good humor, on the part of 
those whom we wish to influence, is the best possible 
coadjutor to our schemes of management, whatever 
these may be.' 5 

The judicious exercise of approbation is of the first 
importance, in promoting obedience, and in cultivat- 
ing in the bosom of your child affectionate and cheer- 
ful feelings. Let your smiles animate your boy's 
heart, and cheer him on in duty. When he returns 
from school, with his clothes clean, and his counte- 
nance happy, reward him with the manifestation of a 
mother's love. This will be the strongest incentive- 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 101 

to neatness and care. An English gentleman used 
to encourage his little children to early rising, by call- 
ing the one who first made her appearance in the 
parlor in the morning, Lark. The early riser was 
addressed by that name, during the day. This slight 
expression of parental approval, was found sufficient 
to call up all the children to the early enjoyment of 
the morning air. A child often makes a very great 
effort to do something to merit a smile from its moth- 
er. And most bitter tears are frequently shed, be- 
cause parents do not sufficiently sympathise in these 
feelings. 

The enjoyment of many a social circle, and the 
disposition of many an affectionate child are spoiled, 
by unceasing complainings. Some persons get into 
such a habit of finding fault, that it becomes as natu- 
ral to them as to breathe. Nothing pleases them. 
In every action, and in every event, they are search- 
ing for something to disapprove. Like venomous 
reptiles, they have the faculty of extracting poison 
from the choicest blessings. Children are, very 
much, creatures of sympathy. They form their 
characters from those around them. And we must 
cherish in our own bosoms, those virtues we would 
foster in theirs. Tf we would give them calm and 
gentle and friendly feelings, we must first show them 
by our own example how valuable those feelings are. 

5. Never punish by exciting imaginary fears. 
There is something very remarkable in the univer- 
sal prevalence of superstition. Hardly an individual 



102 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

is to be found, enlightened or unenlightened, who is 
not, in a greater or less degree, under the influence 
of these irrational fears. There is, in the very na- 
ture of man, a strong susceptibility of impression upon 
this subject. A ghost story will be listened to with 
an intensity of interest, which hardly any thing else 
can awaken. Persons having the care of children, 
not unfrequently take advantage of this, and endeavor 
to amuse, by relating these stories, or to govern, by 
exciting their fears. It surely is not necessary to ar- 
gue the impropriety of such a course. Every one 
knows how ruinous must be the result. Few parents, 
however, practice the caution which is necessary, to 
prevent others from filling the minds of their children 
with superstition. How often do we find persons, 
who retain through life the influence which has thus 
been exerted upon them in childhood. It becomes to 
them a real calamity. Much watchfulness is re- 
quired to preserve the mind from such injuries. 

There is a mode of punishment, not unfrequent, 
which is very reprehensible. A child is shut up in 
the cellar, or in a dark closet. It is thus led to asso- 
ciate ideas of terror with darkness. This effect has 
sometimes been so powerful, that hardly any motive 
would induce a child to go alone into a dark room. 
And sometimes even they fear after they have retired 
for sleep, to be left alone without a light. But there 
is no difficulty in training up children to be as fearless 
by night as by day. And you can find many 
who do not even dream of danger, in going any where 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 103 

about the house in the darkest night. If you would 
cultivate this state of mind in your children, it is 
necessary that you should preserve them from ideas 
of supernatural appearances, and should never appeal 
to imaginary fears. Train up your children to be 
virtuous and fearless. Moral courage is one of the 
surest safeguards of virtue. 

An English writer gives a most appalling account 
of two instances in which fatal consequences attended 
the strong excitement of fear. Says he, "I knew in 
Philadelphia, a child, as fine, and as sprightly, and as 
intelligent a child as ever was born, made an ideot 
for life, by being, when about three years old, shut 
into a dark closet, by a maid servant, in order to ter- 
rify it into silence. The thoughtless creature first 
menaced it with sending it to "the bad place " as the 
phrase is there; and, at last, to reduce it to silence, 
put it into the closet, shut the door, and went out of 
the room. She went back in a few minutes, and 
found the child in a Jit, It recovered from that, but 
was for life an ideot. When the parents, who had 
been out two days and two nights, on a visit of pleas- 
ure, came home, they were told that the child had 
had a Jit; but, they were not told the cause. The 
girl, however, who was a neighbor's daughter, being 
on her death-bed about ten years afterwards, could 
not die in peace, without sending for the mother of 
the child, and asking forgiveness of her. The moth- 
er herself was, however, the greatest offender of the 
two: a whole life-time of sorrow and of mortification 



104 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

was a punishment too light for her and her husband. 
Thousands upon thousands of human beings, have 
been deprived of their senses by these and similar 
means. 

"It is not long since that we read, in the newspa- 
pers, of a child being absolutely killed, at Birming- 
ham, I think it was, by being thus frightened. The 
parents had gone out into what is called an evening 
party. The servants, naturally enough, had their 
party at home; and the mistress, who, by some unex- 
pected accident, had been brought home, at an early 
hour, finding the parlor full of company, ran up 
stairs to see about her child, about two or three years 
old. She found it with its eyes open, but fixed! 
touching it, she found it inanimate. The doctor was 
sent for in vain: it was quite dead. The maid affect- 
ed to know nothing of the cause; but some one of 
the parties assembled discovered, pinned up to the 
curtains of the bed, a horrid figure, made up partly 
of a frightful mask! This, as the wretched girl con- 
fessed, had been done to keep the child quiet, while 
she was with her company below. When one re- 
flects on the anguish that the poor little thing must 
have endured, before the life was quite frightened 
out of it, one can find no terms sufficiently strong to 
express the abhorrence due to the perpetrator of this 
crime, which was, in fact, a cruel murder; and, if it 
was beyond the reach of the law, it was so, and is 
so, because, as in the cases of parricide, the law, in 
making no provision for punishment peculiarly severe, 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 105 

has, out of respect to human nature, supposed such 
crimes to be impossible" 

I have in this chapter alluded to some of the most 
common and prominent faults in education. They 
cannot all, however, be particularly mentioned. The 
faithful mother must have continually a watchful eye; 
she must observe the effect of her own practices. She 
must carefully search out every little defect and tri- 
fling error. We must think and observe for our- 
selves. It is in vain to hope to make attainment in 
any thing valuable without effort. The. views of oth- 
ers may be of essential aid, in laying down general 
principles; in exciting our own thoughts and in stim- 
ulating us to resolution and fidelity. But, after all, 
unless we are willing to think ourselves; to study the 
dispositions of our children; to watch the influence 
of the various motives we present to their minds, 
many faults will pass undetected, and we shall lose 
many advantages we might otherwise have obtained* 



CHAPTER VI. 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 



1. Very great success has attended the efforts 
which have been made to collect children in Sab- 
bath Schools for religious instruction. Maternal asso- 
ciations have been of inestimable value. But nothing 



106 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

can supersede the necessity of effort and instruction 
at the fire-side. The mother must collect her little 
flock around her, and take upon herself the responsi- 
bility of their religious education. She may find en- 
joyment and improvement, in associating with others 
for prayer, and if she be faithful, she will see that her 
children are punctual attendants of the Sabbath 
school. But she will not regard these as exonerating 
herself, in the least degree, from responsibility. The 
influence of Sabbath schools has undoubtedly been, 
to awaken more general interest at home, in behalf 
of the spiritual welfare of children. Still there is 
danger that some parents may feel that the responsi- 
bility is transferred from themselves to the Sabbath 
school teachers; and that they accomplish their duty, 
in seeing them punctually at school, with their lessons 
well committed. It is, however, of the first impor- 
tance, that home should be the sanctuary of religious 
instruction. The mother must be the earnest and 
affectionate guide to the Savior. She must take her 
little ones by the hand, and lead them in the paths of 
piety. 

No one else can possibly have the influence which 
a mother may possess, or the facilities which she en- 
joys. She knows the various dispositions of her chil- 
dren; their habits of thought; their moods of mind. 
Thus can she adapt instruction to their wants. She 
alone can improve the numberless occurrences, which 
open the mind for instruction, and give it susceptibil- 
ity to religious impression. She is with them, when 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 107 

they are in sickness or pain. She can take advan- 
tage of the calm of the morning, and of the solemn 
stillness of the evening. In moments of sadness, she 
can point their minds to brighter worlds, and to more 
satisfying joys. God has conferred upon the mother 
advantages, which no one else can possess. With 
these advantages, he has connected responsibilities, 
which cannot be laid aside, or transferred to another. 
At home, and by the parents, the great duty of re- 
ligious education, must be faithfully performed. The 
quiet fireside is the most sacred sanctuary; maternal 
affection is the most eloquent pleader, and an obedient 
child is the most promising subject of religious im- 
pressions. Let mothers feel this as they ought, and 
they will seldom see their children leave the paternal 
roof, unfortified with Christian principles and sincere 
piety. 

2. Parents must have deep devotional feelings 
themselves. It is certainly vain to hope that you can 
induce your children to fix their affections upon 
another world, while yours are fixed upon this. Your 
example will counteract all the influence of your in- 
structions. Unless Christian feelings animate your 
heart, it is folly to expect that you can instil those 
principles into the hearts of your children. They 
will imitate your example. They confide in your 
guidance. That little child, which God has given 
you, and which is so happy in your affection, feels 
safe in cherishing those feelings, which it sees you 
are cherishing. And, mother! can you look upon 



108 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

your confiding child, and witness all her fond endear- 
ments and warm embraces, and not feel remorse in 
the consciousness that your example is leading her 
away from God, and consigning her to ceaseless sor- 
row. 

You love your child. Your child loves you, and 
cannot dream that you are abusing its confidence", 
and leading it in the paths of sin and destruction, 
How would it be shocked, in being told that its moth- 
er is the cruel betrayer of its eternal happiness. You 
are wedded to the world. You have not given your 
heart to God. Not content with being thus the de- 
stroyer of your own soul, you must carry with you to 
the world of woe the child who is loving you as its 
mother and its friend. Oh, there is an aggravation 
of cruelty in this, which cannot be described. One 
would think that every smile would disturb your peace; 
that every proof of affection would pierce your heart; 
that remorse would keep you aw T ake at midnight, and 
embitter every hour. The murderer of the body can 
scarce withstand the stings of conscience. But, oh 
unchristian mother! you are the destroyer of the soul. 
And of whose soul? The soul of your own confiding 
child. We cannot speak less plainly on this topic. 
We plead the unparalleled wrongs of children, be- 
trayed by a mother's smile, and a mother's kiss. 
Satan led Adam from Paradise. Judas betrayed 
his master. But here w r e see a mother, leading her 
child, her own immortal child, far from God and 
peace, to the rebellion of worldliness, and the storms 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 109 

of retribution. That little child, following in your 
footsteps, is the heir of eternity. It is to survive the 
lapse of all coming years; to emerge from the cor- 
ruptions of the grave; to expand in spiritual existence, 
soaring in the angel's lofty flight, or groping in the 
demon's gloom. Thou oh mother! art its guide, to 
immortality; to Heaven's green pastures, or to des- 
pair's dreary wastes. If you go on in unrepented 
sin, your child, in all probability, will go with you. 

We have heard of a child upon her dying bed, 
raising her eyes to her parents and exclaiming in bit- 
terness of spirit, "Oh my parents! you never told me 
of death, or urged me to prepare for it, and now," 
said she, bursting into an agony of tears, "I am dying, 
and my soul is lost." She died. Her sun went 
down in darkness. What were the feelings of those 
parents? What agony must have rent their bosoms? 
How must the spectre of their ruined daughter pur- 
sue them in all the employments of the day, and dis- 
turb their slumbers by night? But you must meet 
your children again. The trump of judgment will 
summon you to the bar of Christ. How fruitless 
would be the attempt to describe your feelings there? 

'•'That awful day will surely come; 
The appointed hour makes haste." 

Death is succeeded by judgment, and judgment by 
eternity. If you are the destroyer of your child, 
through eternity you must bear its reproaches. You 
must gaze upon the wreck of its immortal spirit, while 
conscience says that if you had been faithful, your- 
10 



110 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

self and your child might have been reposing in heav- 
en. Think not that you can go in one path, and in- 
duce your child to walk in another. You must not 
only "point to heaven" but "lead the way." The 
first thing to be done, is for a mother to give her own 
heart to God. Become a Christian yourself, and 
then you may hope for God's blessing upon your 
efforts to lead your child to the Savior. We do en- 
treat every mother who reads these pages, as she 
values her own happiness, and the happiness of her 
children, immediately to surrender her heart to God. 
Atoning blood has removed every difficulty from the 
way. The Holy Spirit is ready, in answer to your 
prayers, to grant you all needful assistance. Every 
hour that you delay this duty, you are leading your 
children farther from God, and rendering "the pros- 
pect of their return more hopeless. 

3. Present religion in a cheerful aspect. There 
is no real enjoyment without piety. The tendency 
of religion is to make us happy here and hereafter; 
to divest the mind of gloom, and fill it with joy. 
Many parents err in this respect. They dwell too 
much upon the terrors of the law. They speak with 
countenances saddened and gloomy. Religion be- 
comes to the child an unwelcome topic, and is regard- 
ed as destructive of happiness. The idea of God is 
associated with gloom and terror. Many parents 
have, in their latter years, become convinced of the 
injudicious course they have pursued in this respect. 
They have so connected religious considerations 
with melancholy countenances, and mournful tones 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. Ill 

of voice, as to cause the subject to be unnecessarily- 
repugnant. 

We may, indeed, err upon the other extreme. The 
nature of sin, and the justice of God, and the awful 
penalty of his law, should be distinctly exhibited. 
The child should be taught to regard God as that 
being, who, while he loves his creatures, cannot look 
upon sin, but with abhorrence. If we speak to chil- 
dren simply of the Creator's goodness, as manifested 
in the favors we are daily receiving, an erroneous 
impression of God's character will be conveyed. It is 
to be feared that many deceive themselves in think- 
ing they love God. They have in their minds a 
poetic idea of an amiable and sentimental being, 
whose character is composed of fondness and indul- 
gence. Such persons are as far from worshipping 
the true God, as is the Indian devotee, or the sensual 
Moslem. God must be represented as he has exhib- 
ited himself to us in the Bible and in the works of 
nature. He is a God of mercy and of justice. He 
is a God of love, and a consuming fire. He is to be 
regarded with our warmest affections, and also with 
reverence, and godly fear. Let, therefore, children 
distinctly understand, that sin cannot pass unpunished. 
But it should also be understood, that judgment is 
God's strange work. Ordinarily speak of his good- 
ness. Shew his readiness to forgive. Excite the 
gratitude of the child, by speaking of the joys of 
heaven. Thus let the duties of religion ever be con- 
nected with feelings of enjoyment, and images of 
happiness, that the child may perceive that gloom 



112 THE MOTHER AT HOME, 

and sorrow are connected only with disobedience 
and irreligion. There is enough in the promised 
joys of heaven, to rouse a child's most animated feel- 
ings. This subject has more to cheer the youthful 
heart, than any other, which can be presented. Ap- 
peal to gratitude. Excite hope. Speak of the prom- 
ised reward. Thus may you most reasonably hope 
to lead your child to love its Maker, and to live for 
heaven. Reserve the terrors of the law for solemn 
occasions, when you may produce a deep and abiding 
impression. If you are continually introducing these 
motives, the mind becomes hardened against their 
influence; religion becomes a disagreeable topic, and 
the inveteracy of sin is confirmed. 

4. Improve appropriate occasions. We all know 
that there are times, when there is peculiar tender- 
ness of conscience and susceptibility of impression. 
These changes come over the mind, sometimes from 
unaccountable causes. One day the Christian will 
feel a warmth of devotional feeling, and an elevation 
of spiritual enjoyment, which, the next day, he in Vain 
endeavors to attain. The man whose affections are 
fixed upon the world, at one time will be almost sat- 
isfied with the pleasures he is gathering. The world 
looks bright. Hope is animated. And he rushes on 
with new vigor in his delusive pursuits. The next 
day, all his objects of desire appear as perfect shad- 
ows. He feels the heartlessness of his pleasures. 
His spirit is sad within him. And he is almost re- 
solved to be a Christian. With these changes nearly 
all are familiar. Sometimes they may be accounted 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 113 

for from known external causes. At other times the 
causes elude our search. 

A mother should ever be watchful to improve such 
occasions. When she sees her child, with an unu- 
sually tender spirit; with a pensive countenance, and 
subdued feelings — let her then look to God in fervent 
prayer, and with all the persuasions of a mother's 
love, endeavor to guide her child to the Savior. 
When the mind is in such a state as this, it is pre- 
pared for religious instruction. Tt then can be made 
to feel, how heartless are all joys, but those of piety. 
Its hold upon the world is loosened, and it may more 
easily be led to wander in those illimitable regions, 
where it may hereafter find its home. Oh how sweet 
a pleasure it is, to present the joys of religion to a 
child whose feelings are thus chastened; to behold 
the tear of feeling moistening its eye; to see its little 
bosom heaving with the new emotions, which are ris- 
ing there. If there be a joy on earth, it is to be 
found in such a scene as this. The happy mother, 
thus guiding her young immortal to its heavenly 
home, experiences a rapture of feeling, which the 
world knoweth not of. Such occasions are not un- 
frequently arising, and the mother should endeavor, 
always to have her heart warm, with love to the 
Savior, that in such an hour, she may communicate 
its warmth to the bosom of her child. 

There are certain seasons also, which are pecu- 
liarly appropriate for guiding the thoughts to heaven. 
Our feelings vary with scenes around us. Upon 
some dark and tempestuous night, you lead your lit— 
*10 



114 THE MOTHER AT HOME, 

tie son to his chamber. The rain beats violently 
upon the windows. The wind whistles around the 
comers of the dwelling. All without is darkness 
and gloom. The mind of the child is necessarily 
affected by this rage of the elements. You embrace 
the opportunity to inculcate a lesson of trust in God. 
"My son," you say, "it is God who causes this wind 
to blow, and the rain to fall. Neither your father 
nor I can cause the storm to cease, or increase its 
violence. If God wished, he could make the wind 
blow with such fury as to beat in all the windows and 
destroy the house. But God will take care of you, 
my son, if you ask Him. No one else can take care 
of you. I hope that you will pray that God will pro- 
tect you, and your father, and me, to-night. When 
God commands, the storm will cease. The clouds 
will disappear. All will be calm. And the bright 
moon, and twinkling stars will shine out again." 

In some such manner as this, the child may be 
taught his entire dependance upon God. He can- 
not fail of obtaining a deep impression of the power 
of his Maker. You may say that God is omnipotent, 
and it will produce but a feeble impression. But 
point to some actual exhibition of God's power, and 
the attention is arrested, and the truth is felt. When 
the mother leaves the room, and her son remains 
alone and in darkness, listening to the roar of the 
storm, will not his mind be expanded with new ideas 
of the greatness and the power of his Maker? Will 
he not feel that it is a fearful thing to offend such a 
being? And if he has been rightly instructed to place 



KELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 115 

his trust in God, the agitation of the elements will 
not trouble the serenity of his heart. He will feel 
that with God for his protector, he need fear no evil. 
Some such simple occurrence as this, may often be 
improved to produce an impression which never can 
be forgotten. Such thoughts as these you cannot in- 
troduce to the mind of a child, without enlarging its 
capacities, giving it maturity, leading it to reflection, 
and promoting its virtue. One such transient inci- 
dent, has a greater effect than hours of ordinary re- 
ligious conversation. 

One of the most important duties of the mother is 
to watch for these occasions and diligently to improve 
them. Any parent, who is faithful, will find innumer- 
able opportunities, which will enable her to come into 
almost immediate contact with the heart of her child. 
The hour of sickness comes. Your little daughter is 
feverish and restless upon her pillow. You bathe her 
burning brow, and moisten her parched tongue, and 
she hears your prayer, that she may be restored to 
health. At length the fever subsides. She awakes 
from refreshing sleep, relieved from pain. You tell 
her then, that if God had not interposed, her sickness 
would have increased till she had died. By point- 
ing her attention to this one act of kindness in God, 
which she can see and feel, you may excite emotions 
of sincere gratitude. You may thus lead her to real 
grief, that she should ever disobey her heavenly 
father. 

A child in the neighborhood dies. Your daughter 
accompanies you to the funeral. She looks upon the 



116 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

lifeless corpse of her little companion. And shall a 
mother neglect such an opportunity, to teach her child 
the meaning of death? When your daughter retires 
to sleep at night, she will, most certainly, think of her 
friend who has died. As you speak to her of the 
eternal world to which her friend has gone — of the 
judgment seat of Christ — of the new scenes of joy 
or wo, upon which she has entered, will not her 
youthful heart feel? And will not tears of sympathy 
fill her eyes? And as you tell your daughter that she 
too soon must die; — leave all her friends; appear be- 
fore Christ to be judged; and enter upon eternal ex- 
istence, — will not the occurrence of the day give a 
reality and an effect to your remarks, which will long 
be remembered? There are few children who can 
resist such appeals. The Savior who took little chil- 
dren in his arms, and blessed them, will not despise 
this day of small things, but will cherish the feelings 
thus excited, and strengthen the feeble resolve. We 
have every encouragement to believe that God, who 
is more ready to give his Holy Spirit to them that 
ask Him, than a mother to feed her hungry child, 
will accompany these efforts with His blessing. 

A father once led his little daughter into the grave 
yard, to shew her the grave of a playmate, who, a 
few days before, had been consigned to her cold and 
narrow bed. The little girl looked for some mo- 
ments in silence and sadness upon the fresh mound, 
and then looking up, said papa, "I now know what is 
meant by the hymn, 

'I, in the burying place, may see, 
Graves shorter there than I.' " 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION.- 117 

"My grave would be longer than this." This dear 
little child now lies by the side of that grave. But 
her parents can smile through their tears, as they be- 
lieve that her spirit is in heaven. It is by introduc- 
ing children to such scenes, and seizing upon such 
occasions, that we may most successfully inculcate 
lessons of piety. One such incident enters more 
deeply into the heart, than volumes of ordinary con- 
versation. 

You are, perhaps, riding with your son. It is a 
lovely summer's morning. The fields lie spread be- 
fore you in beauty. The song of the bird is trsard. 
All nature seems uttering a voice of gladness. As 
you ascend some eminence, which gives you a com- 
manding view of all the varied beauties of the scene; 
of hill and valley, rivulet and forest, of verdant pas- 
tures, and lowing herds, can you fail to point the at- 
tention of your son to these beauties, and from them, 
to lead his mind to Him, whose word called them all 
into being? And may you not thus most effectually 
carry his thoughts away to heaven? May you not 
lead his mind to the green pastures, and the still wa- 
ters, where there is sweet repose forever? May you 
not introduce him to that kind shepherd, who there 
protects his flock, gathering his lambs in his arms, 
and folding them in his bosom. May not a mother's 
or a father's tongue, here plead with an eloquence 
unknown in the pulpit? 

By carefully improving such occasions as these, 
you may produce an impression upon the mind, 
which all future years cannot remove. You may 



118 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

so intimately connect devotional feelings, with the 
ever varying events, and changing scenes of life, that 
every day's occurrences will lead his thoughts to God. 
The raging storm; the hour of sickness; the funeral 
procession; the tolling bell, will, in all after life, carry 
back his thoughts to a mother's instructions and pray- 
ers. Should your son hereafter be a wanderer from 
home, as he stands upon the Alps, or rides upon the 
ocean, his mind will involuntarily be carried to Him 
who rules the waters, and who built the hills. With 
these occasions, which produce so vivid an effect 
upon the mind, endeavor to connect views of God, 
and heaven. 

I can never forget the impression produced upon 
my own mind, by a very simple remark, which, un- 
der ordinary circumstances, would not have been 
remembered an hour. The good illustration it af- 
fords of the principle we are now considering, has 
overcome the reluctance I feel, in appealing to per- 
sonal experience. One day, in the very early stages 
of my childhood, my father gave me a little ball cov- 
ered with leather, such as boys usually play with. 
Saturday morning, while playing with it at school, it 
was accidentally thrown over the fence and lost. We 
searched for it a long time in vain. The loss to me 
was about as severe as it would be for a man to part 
with half his fortune. I went home and unbosomed 
my grief to my mother. She endeavored to console 
me, but with what effect I cannot now remember. 
The next day was the Sabbath. I passed the day 
with more than ordinary propriety. My customary 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 119 

Sabbath hymn was perfectly committed. Seated in 
my little chair by the fire, I passed a quiet and happy 
day, in reading, and the various duties appropriate to 
holy time. My conduct was such as to draw expres- 
sions of approbation from my parents, as with a peace- 
ful heart, I bade them good night to retire to rest. 
The next day, as usual, I went to school. The lost 
ball occupied my mind as I walked along. Upon 
climbing over the fence into the field, where I had so 
long and so fruitlessly searched on the preceding Sat- 
urday, almost the first object upon which my eye fell, 
was the ball partially concealed by a stone. Child 
as I was, my joy was very great. At noon, I ran 
hastily home to inform my mother, knowing that she 
would rejoice with me over my recovered treasure. 
After sympathizing with me in my childish happiness, 
she remarked, that Sir Mathew Hale had said that 
he never passed the Sabbath well, without being 
prospered the succeeding week. "You remember, 
ray son," she continued, "that you were a good boy 
yesterday. This shews you, that if you would be 
happy and prosperous, you must remember the Sab- 
bath day and keep it holy." Whether this remark 
be unexceptionably true, it is not in place now to in- 
quire. That it generally is true, but few will doubt. 
But the remark in the connection in which it was 
made, produced an impression upon my mind, which 
will never be effaced. All the other events of that 
early period have long since perished from my mem- 
ory. But this remains fresh and prominent. Often 
has it led me to the* scrupulous observance of the 



120 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

Sabbath — even to the present day, I can distinctly per- 
ceive its influence. The connection in my mind be- 
tween God's blessing and the observance of the Sab- 
bath, is so intimate, that scarcely does a Sabbath 
morning arrive, in which it is not involuntarily sug- 
gested. Probably every reader can recal to mind 
some similar occurrence, which has fixed an indelli- 
ble impression. If a mother will be ever vigilant to 
improve such opportunities, she will avoid the danger 
of making religion a wearisome and unpleasant topic. 
There is hardly any person so reckless of eternity, 
so opposed to piety, who will not at times listen to 
religious conversation. A christian gentleman, was 
once a passenger on board a vessel, where his ears 
were frequently pained, by the profane language, of 
a rude and boisterous cabin boy. He resolved to 
watch for some opportunity to converse with him. 
One evening the gentleman was lying, wrapped in 
his cloak, upon the quarter deck, with a coil of ropes 
for his pillow, feasting upon the beauties of ocean 
scenery. A gentle breeze was swelling the sails, and 
bearing them rapidly over the undulating waters. 
The waves were glittering with their phosphorescent 
fires, and reflected from innumerable points the rays 
of the moon. Not a cloud obscured the thousands 
of lamp lights, which were hung out in "nature's 
grand rotunda." The cabin boy happened to be 
employed in adjusting some ropes, near the place 
where the gentleman was reclining, in the rich enjoy- 
ment of his wandering thoughts. A few words of 
conversation first passed between them, upon some 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 121 

ordinary topic. The attention of the boy, was then 
by an easy transition directed to the stars. He man- 
ifested increasing interest as some simple but striking 
remarks were made, upon the facts which astronomy 
has taught us. From this the mind of the boy was led 
to heaven. He stood gazing upon the stars, as the 
gentleman spake of the world of glory, of which they 
are perhaps the mansions, which Christ has gone to 
prepare. He listened with subdued feelings, and 
breathless attention, as he had unfolded to him the 
awful scene of judgment. By this time, his mind 
was prepared for direct allusion to his own sins. He 
was attentive, and respectful, while he was kindly, 
but most earnestly entreated, to prepare to meet 
Christ in judgment. The effect produced upon the 
mind of this wicked lad, was evidently most powerful. 
Whether it were lasting or not, the gentleman had no 
opportunity to ascertain. But by taking advantage 
of the stillness of the evening, and the impressiveness 
of the scene, the turbulent spirit of that boy, was, for 
the time, at least, quelled. Religious instruction was 
communicated to his willing mind. And probably 
he will often, while a wanderer upon the ocean, gaze 
upon the stars, in his midnight watches, and think of 
judgment and of heaven. 

How often can a mother seize upon some similar 
occasion, and instruct, while at the same time she 
most deeply interests, and most effectually impresses 
the mind of her child. 
11 



122 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

5. Avoid inappropriate occasions. There are times 
when serious injury is done, by urging the claims of 
religion. Your child is angry. His flushed cheek, 
and violent motions, show the sinful irritation of his 
mind. Shall the mother now converse with him, 
upon the wickedness of these feelings and God's dis- 
pleasure ? No ! It is unseasonable. It would be as 
unavailing as to converse with a madman, or one in- 
toxicated. Punish him for his irritation, in some 
way, which will soothe his feelings, and lead him to 
reflection. But wait till these passions have subsid- 
ed, before you attempt to reason with him upon their 
impropriety, and to lead him to evangelical repent- 
ance. Kneel by his bedside in the silence of his 
chamber, and in the pensive hour of evening. When 
his mind is calm, and passion is not triumphing over 
reason, he will hear you, and may be melted to con- 
trition. When Peter denied his master, he did it 
with cursing and swearing. But when his fears had 
subsided, and the hour of reflection came, with a sad 
heart, he entered the hall of Pilate. Then did a 
single glance from the Savior, pierce his heart, "and 
he went out and wept bitterly." 

A child is highly excited with pleasurable emo- 
tions. His attention is so highly engrossed by the 
immediate object of his enjoyment, that it is almost 
impossible to draw his thoughts to any other subject. 
If under these circumstances an effort is made, to 
convince him of the uncertainty of human enjoy- 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 123 

ments, — of his own sinfulness, — of the need of a Sa- 
vior, the effort will not only, in all probability, be 
unavailing, but the subject will be so unwelcome, as 
to excite disgust. There are times when the mind 
is prepared with gratitude to receive religious instruc- 
tion. Let such be improved. There are others 
when the mind is so manifestly engrossed in one all 
absorbing subject, that it is in vain to present any 
other. If you would not connect religion with un- 
pleasant associations, and excite repugnance, do not 
on such occasions obtrude this subject. 

If a gunner should enter a forest, and walk along, 
loading and firing at random, he might accidentally 
get some game, but most assuredly he would frighten 
away, far more than he would secure. If a parent 
with blind and unthinking zeal, is incessantly throw- 
ing out random remarks, she may by chance produce 
the desired effect. She will however more frequent- 
ly excite opposition, and confirm rebellion, than lead 
to penitence and prayer. 

Guard against long and tedious conversations. 
The mind of a child, cannot be fixed for any great 
length of time, upon one subject, without exhaustion. 
Every word that is uttered, after there are manifesta- 
tions of weariness, will do more harm than good. If a 
mother will exercise her own judgment, and gather wis- 
dom from her own observation, she will soon acquire 
that facility, in adapting her instructions, which will 
have the best tendency to improve her child. No 
rules can supersede the necessity of personal watch- 
fulness and reflection. 



124 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

CHAPTER VII. 

RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION CONTINUED. 

The views which are generally entertained of 
heaven, are far more indefinite than they need be. 
This home of the blest is described in the Bible with 
the most magnificent imagery nature affords. Heaven 
is spoken of, as having a distinct locality, just as much 
as is London or Paris, or any place on earth. We 
hear of the splendor of the golden city, adorned with 
every beauty with which the hand of omnipotence 
can embellish it; of the mansions glittering with ar- 
chitectural magnificence. We are informed of the 
social enjoyments of that world. The christian is 
introduced to the society of angels; converses with 
them; unites in their enjoyments; becomes a loved 
member of their happy community. We are inform- 
ed of the active delights of heaven. Angel bands 
fly to and fro, the rejoicing messengers of God. They 
unfold their wings, and take their rapid flight, where 
all the glories of the universe allure their curiosity, 
and where no darkness succeeds the splendor of 
ceaseless day. The joys of sense are described. 
The eye gazes full and undazzled upon the bright- 
ness of God's throne. The ear is charmed with mel- 
ody. The body of the christian is to arise from the 
grave, incorruptible and immortal. There is the 
union of soul and body, in that happy world. There 
we meet our christian friends; recognize them; rejoice 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 125 

in their love. Thus we pass our eternity, with songs, 
and everlasting joy upon our heads, where sorrow and 
sighing forever flee away. 

How vivid and impressive are the views which the 
pen of inspiration gives of the christian's future abode. 
Yet the very common idea entertained of heaven is, 
that it is a vast aerial expanse, where shadowy and 
unsubstantial spirits repose in mysterious and indefin- 
able enjoyment. There is, indeed, with many indi- 
viduals, an impression that it is almost wicked, to 
associate ideas of joys with which we now are famil- 
iar, with that celestial abode. But is it not safe, is it 
not a duty, to be guided in our instructions by the 
Bible ? Admitting that the descriptions of the Bible 
are figurative, as they of necessity must be, still these 
are the figures which God has employed, to convey 
to our minds an idea of the joys of heaven. And 
God would surely select the most appropriate figures, 
and those which most nearly f esemble the enjoyments 
to be illustrated. 

1. Therefore it is our privilege and our duty, to 
describe heaven to our children, as God has described 
it to us. Thus may we give it vividness in their 
minds. Thus may we excite, in their youthful 
bosoms, the most intense desire, to enter that happy 
world. And why has God unfolded its glories, but 
to allure to holiness, and entice us home ? Your son 
has an unusual thirst for knowledge. His curiosity is 
ever on the alert. He is prying into nature's mys- 
terious movements, and asking questions which the 
11* 



126 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

human mind cannot answer. Tell him that there are 
no limits to human improvement; that the grave can- 
not enchain the energies of mind; that time cannot 
circumscribe its range; that eternity cannot weary its 
powers; that it will advance in its acquisitions, and 
soar in its flight, long after suns, and moons, and stars, 
shall have waxed old and decayed. Tell him that in 
heaven he shall understand all the wonders of God's 
works, and experience the most exquisite delight, as 
he looks into and comprehends all the machinery of 
nature. And then you can tell him of the Savior, 
who died that He might introduce him to this happy 
world. Your daughter has an ear charmed with the 
melody of sound. Music is to her a source of ex- 
quisite enjoyments. Is there no music in Heaven ? 
Is there no melody in the "chorus of the skies?" Is 
there nothing enrapturing to the soul, while uniting 
with angel bands in their hallelujahs? God has thus 
described heaven to us.' Why should we not then 
animate our children with the same description? You 
may, in familiar language, carry the thoughts of your 
daughter away to companies of happy angels, with 
celestial harps and divine voices, rolling their notes of 
joy through heaven's wide concave. Thus will she 
have some definite idea of the enjoyments to which 
she is invited. The joys of heaven will be to her in- 
tensely alluring. And she will be led to inquire more 
earnestly into the way of salvation, and with more 
fervor to implore God's aid to overcome sin and pre- 
pare her for a heavenly home. 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 127 

Your child has an affectionate disposition, a heart 
open to receive friendship, and to pour forth its love. 
Tell him of the love of heaven, of God, of the an- 
gels. Tell him of the love which animates the bo- 
soms of those noble spirits who have not a single 
fault to repel attachment. Tell him of again meet- 
ing all his friends, who love the Savior, in that world 
where an unkind word, or an unkind look, or an un- 
kind thought is unknown. And as you dwell upon 
the proofs of a Savior's love, his heart may be 
melted. 

Is your child passionately fond of nature's scenery ? 
Does he look with a poet's eye upon the ocean, upon 
the starry canopy, upon the gilded clouds of sunset ? 
There surely is magnificence in the scenery of heav- 
en. There is splendor worth beholding in the visions 
of angels, the throne of God, the wide-spread uni- 
verse of countless worlds. What is the ocean, but a 
drop sprinkled from the almighty hand? What is 
Niagara, to us so magnificent, but a tiny rivulet, rip- 
pling over its pebbly channel? Animate your child 
with the description of those glories of heaven, before 
which all the sublimity of earth shrinks to insignifi- 
cance. Fear not that this will extinguish in his bo- 
som a taste for nature's beauties. It will, while, in- 
creasing the enjoyment he derives from these sources, 
refine and elevate his mind, and give him ardent de- 
sires to be prepared for this world of glory. Fear 
not that this will strengthen in his heart the principles 
of selfishness, instead of leading him to piety. If 



128 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

God had felt such fears, he never would have pre- 
sented us the allurements of heaven, or the terrors of 
hell. Present these joys, that your child may be in- 
duced by them to repent of sin, to trust in the Sa- 
vior, and to consecrate life to his service. 

These descriptions are necessarily in some degree 
figurative, and we must so instruct our children. But 
we must not neglect the use of these figures, for they 
convey to the mind the most correct conception that 
can be attained of the enjoyment of the future world. 
The fact that God has selected them, proves that no 
other language can be equally appropriate. They 
describe, as perfectly as human language can de- 
scribe, the nature of heaven's enjoyments. But they 
do not come up to the reality; for eye hath not seen, 
nor ear heard, nor human heart conceived, the joys 
which God has prepared for those who love him. 

God knows how to adapt instruction to the human 
mind. We must imitate his example. And we must 
present heaven to our children as God has presented 
it to us, crowded with images of delight. The pur- 
est and noblest joys we experience on earth, will be 
found again in that world, only infinitely elevated and 
refined. And he must adopt singular principles of 
interpretation, who does not read in the bible, that in 
heaven we shall find splendor of scenery, harmony of 
music, congeniality of companions, ardor of love, 
delight of active motion, mansions of glory, and 
homes of never-failing bliss. Let us urge these 
views upon our children, till their hearts are warmed 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 129 

by them. Nothing can have a stronger tendency to 
convince of the folly of laying up treasures upon earth. 
And this will lead them to listen with interest, to learn 
how salvation is to be obtained. 

2. Dwell particularly upon the Savior. The 
scriptures declare that the preaching of Christ cruci- 
fied is the powerful instrument which God uses in 
convincing of sin, and leading to penitence and grati- 
tude. And the history of the church in all ages has 
shown that the story of a Savior's love and death 
will awaken contrition and melt the heart, when all 
other appeals are in vain. Your child will listen, 
with tearful eye, while you tell of the Savior's eleva- 
tion in heaven; of his becoming man; of the suffer- 
ings and .persecution of his life; and of his cruel 
death upon the cross. And when you tell your child 
that it was God who thus became manifest in the 
flesh, and suffered these indignities, that he might re- 
deem his sinful creatures from woe, you will convey 
to the tender mind such an idea of God's kindness, 
and the ingratitude of sinners, as nothing else can pro- 
duce. The philosopher may admire the noble con- 
ception of the eternal, incomprehensible, invisible 
spirit. But it is God, as manifested in the compas- 
sionate, gentle, and suffering Savior, who attracts the 
sympathies of the heart. A definite idea is intro- 
duced to the youthful mind, when you speak of him 
who took little children in his arms and blessed them, 
Every christian can judge, from the effect produced 
upon his own heart by the recital of a Savior's love, 



130 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

of the tendency it has to awaken in the bosom of a 
child the deepest emotions of contrition and gratitude. 
It is very observable, in all the accounts of youthful 
piety, that the Savior is the prominent object of affec- 
tion. 

Any person will be interested, in turning over the 
pages of almost any pious child's biography, to wit- 
ness how strong the impression which a Savior's love 
produces upon the heart. Even under the most ad- 
verse circumstances, the youthful heart has found its 
way, unguided and alone, to repose in the bosom of 
the Savior. Not a few instances have occurred, in 
which parents, who have not been accustomed to give 
prominency to the Savior in their instructions, have 
been surprised to find that Jesus Christ is the sympa- 
thising friend to whom a child, in sickness and in 
suffering, has most affectionately clung. God, in 
Christ, has attractions which nothing else can have. 

When little Nathan Dickerman was asked, "What 
do you love to think about most when you are in 
pain?" 

"The Lord Jesus Christ," he answered. 

At another time, his biographer records, "Nathan 
is very sick to night. His heart is beating most vio- 
lently and rapidly, while the pulse can hardly be per- 
ceived at the wrist. But he says he is more happy 
than usual. I asked him, why? He replied, 

"Because my Savior is nearer." 

Being asked which was his favorite hymn, he 
thought a moment, and repeated, 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 131 

One there is above all others, 

Well deserves the name of friend j 
His is love, beyond a brother's, 

Costly free, and knows no end. 

Which of all our friends to save us, 
Could or would have shed his blood 1 

But this Savior died to have us 
Reconciled in him to God. 

The remembrance of what the Savior suffered 
sustained him in all his sufferings. Redeeming love 
was the theme of his sweetest meditations. 

One day, "some one was mentioning in the room 
that his disease was of such a nature that he would 
probably die suddenly. Nathan heard it, and rising 
up in the bed, clasped his hands together, and re- 
peated the verse, 

Jesus can make a dying bed 

Feel soft as downy pillows are, 
While on his breast I lean my head, 

And breathe my soul out sweetly there. 

And after sitting a few moments in silence, he ad- 
ded another. 



Jesus, my God$ I know his 

His name is all my trust 5 
Nor will he put my soul to shame, 

Nor let my hope be lost. 

Is'nt that a good hope, Ma?" 

We might open to almost any memoir of early 
piety, in illustration of this principle. And indeed 
every one who is familiar with the characteristics of 
devotional feeling, as they are exemplified in the 



132 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

mind of a child, must have observed the wonderful 
adaptation of religious truth to our weakness and 
frailty. 

Let parents, therefore, imitate the apostles, and 
preach to their children a suffering Savior. Shew 
them God, in Christ, reconciling the world to himself. 
This' is the simplicity of the Gospel. Indeed, we 
can hardly conceive it possible for the affections of a 
child to cling with ardor to any object, of which it 
cannot form some definite conception. Tell your 
child of Christ, who created him; of Christ, who be- 
came man, and suffered and died to save him; of 
Christ, before whose judgment-seat he soon must ap- 
pear; of Christ, whose praises the christian will sing 
in heaven, ages without end. Thus is God, if I may 
so express it, simplified to the comprehension of the 
child. The mother, who does not often present this 
Savior, and dwell upon the story of his sufferings and 
death, has not yet learnt the simplicity and power of 
the Gospel. All other motives are feeble, compared 
with this. You may search the world of fact and of 
imagination in vain for any motive calculated to pro- 
duce so deep an impression upon the mind. And 
every thing in this astonishing occurrence has a ten- 
dency to promote humility, and penitence, and love. 
I dwell the more earnestly upon this point, for it ap- 
pears to me of primary importance. It is the all- 
availing instrument which God has given to subdue 
the power of sin in the heart. 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 133 

3. Pray with your children. It is not only the 
duty of a mother to pray for her children, but when 
they are young, to pray with them. Let them hear 
your fervent supplications that God will make them 
his friends. Let them see that your desires are in- 
tense, that they may be preserved from sin, and pre- 
pared for heaven. The feelings which animate the 
bosom of the mother, will, by sympathy, in some de- 
gree be transferred to the bosoms of the children. 
These scenes of devotion will long be remembered. 
And if your efforts and your prayers are not answer- 
ed with the early evidences of your children's piety, 
these hours of devotion will leave a trace upon the 
memory never to be effaced. Through all succeed- 
ing years they will operate as restraints from plung- 
ing into guilty excess, and as monitions of conscience 
calling loudly to repentance and virtue. 

It is repdrted of a man, eminent for his talents, his 
elevated situation in life, and his dissipation, that one 
evening, while sitting at the gaming table, he was ob- 
served to be unusually sad. His associates rallied 
him upon his serious aspect. He endeavored, by 
rousing himself, and by sallies of wit, which he had 
always at command, to turn away their attention, and 
throw off the transient gloom. Not many moments 
transpired, before he seemed again lost in thought, 
and dejected by some mournful contemplations. 
This exposed him so entirely to the ridicule of his 
companions, that he could not defend himself. As 
they poured in upon him their taunts and jeers, he 
12 



134 THE MOTHER AT HOME* 

at last remarked, "Well, to tell the truth, I cannot 
help thinking, every now and then, of the prayers my 
mother used to offer for me at my bed-side, when I 
was a child. Old as I am, 1 cannot forget the im- 
pressions of those early years." Here was a man of 
highly cultivated mind 3 and of talents of so high an 
order, as to give him influence and eminence, not- 
withstanding his dissolute life, and yet neither lapse 
of years, nor acquisitions of knowledge, nor crowding 
cares, nor scenes of dissipation, could obliterate the 
effect which a mother's devotions had left upon his 
mind. The still small voice of a mother's prayers 
rose above the noise of guilty revelry. The pious 
mother, though dead, still continued to speak in im- 
pressive rebuke to her dissolute son. Many facts 
might be introduced, illustrating the importance of 
this duty. The following is so much to the point, 
and affords such cheering encouragement, that I can- 
not refrain from relating it. 

A few years since, a gentleman from England 
brought a letter of introduction to a gentleman in this 
country. The stranger was of accomplished mind 
and manners, but in sentiment an infidel. The gen- 
tleman to whom he brought letters of introduction, 
and his lady, were active christian philanthropists. 
They invited the stranger to make their house his 
home, and treated him with every possible attention. 
Upon the evening of his arrival, just before the usual 
hour for retiring, the gentleman, knowing the pecu- 
liarity of his guest's sentiments, observed to him, that 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 135 

the hour had arrived in which they usually attended 
family prayers; that he should be happy to have him 
remain and unite with them, or, if he preferred, he 
could retire. The gentleman intimated that it would 
give him pleasure to remain. A chapter of the bible 
was read, and the family all knelt in prayer, the 
stranger with the rest. In a few days the stranger 
left this hospitable dwelling, and embarked on board 
a ship for a foreign land. In the course of three or 
four years, however, the providence of God again led 
that stranger to the same dwelling. But oh how 
changed ! He came the happy christian, the humble 
man of piety and prayer. In the course of the eve- 
ning's conversation lie remarked that when he, on the 
first evening of his previous visit, knelt with them in 
family prayer, it was the first time for many years that 
he had bowed the knee to his Maker. This act 
brought to his mind such a crowd of recollections, it 
so vividly reminded him of a parent's prayers, which 
he had heard at home, that he was entirely bewil- 
dered. His emotion was so great, that he did not 
hear one syllable of the prayer which was uttered, 
from its commencement to its close. And God made 
this the instrument of leading him from the dreary 
wilds of infidelity to the peace and the joy of piety. 
His parents, I believe, had long before gone home to 
their rest. But the prayers they had offered for and 
with their son, had left an influence which could not 
die. They might have prayed ever so fervently for 
him, but if they had not prayed with him, if they had 



136 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

not knelt by his side, and caused his listening ear to 
hear their earnest supplications, their child might have 
continued through life unreconciled to his Maker. 

There is efficacy in prayer. God hears and 
answers our requests. But he does this in accord- 
ance with the laws which he has established. It is 
presumption to expect that he will interrupt the har- 
mony of those laws. He acts through them. And 
we should endeavor to accommodate all our efforts to 
the known habits of mind; to present those motives 
which have a tendency to influence. God answered 
the prayers of these pious parents. But he did it 
through the instrumentality of the very effort they 
were making, in asking him to bless their son. 

4. Teach your children to pray themselves. It 
may be very useful to teach a child the Lord's pray- 
er and other simple forms. And a child may thus 
really pray — give utterance to his own feelings in the 
language of another. But this cannot supersede the 
necessity of teaching him to go and thank God for all 
the nameless enjoyments of the day, and to ask for- 
giveness for the various faults he may have com- 
mitted. The minds of children dwell upon particu- 
lars. They are not in habits of generalizing. It 
requires but little feeling to confess that we are sin- 
ners. But to specify individual acts of wickedness 
demands a much greater exercise of humility. And 
a general recognition of God's goodness, affects the 
mind very differently, from the enumeration of partic- 
ular mercies. It is therefore important that your 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 137 

child should be taught to review the events of each 
day at its close. He should be reminded of the mer- 
cies received, and the faults committed, and be taught 
to express gratitude for the one, and implore pardon 
for the other. The return of a father from a journey 
has given your children an evening of very unusual 
enjoyment. When they retire for the night, allude 
to the happy evening they have passed. Tell them 
it was God who preserved their father's life, and re- 
turned him safely home. And having thus excited 
real gratitude in their hearts, lead them to express 
this gratitude in their own simple and artless language* 
By thus pointing their attention to prominent facts 
and individual blessings, they will not only acquire 
facility in prayer, but be most effectually taught their 
entire dependence upon God. Care should also be 
taken not to overlook the ordinary blessings of life.. 
It is a rainy day. Shew God's goodness in sending 
the rain. Let them see distinctly that their Father 
in Heaven does it that his children may have food to 
eat. It is night. Shew them the consequences which 
would result if God should never again cause the sun 
to rise and shine upon them. They have received 
some needful clothes. Shew them how God makes 
the wool grow, that they may be warm, Every 
mother can present innumerable such contemplations, 
which will enlarge their field of thought, increase 
their knowledge of God, promote gratitude, and give 
a facility in prayer, which will be to them a perma- 
nent and valuable acquisition, Let it not be said 
12* 



138 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

that this requires a degree of knowledge and skill 
which but few parents possess. The chief difficulty 
to be surmounted is the feeling which so many pa- 
rents entertain that they have not time. But the 
mother, who feels the importance of this subject as it 
deserves to be felt, will find time to be faithful with 
her children, whatever else she may be under the 
necessity of neglecting. The same eourse should be 
pursued in confession of sin. By pointing to these 
mercies, you may easily convince your child of its 
want of suitable gratitude. Perhaps he has, during 
the day, been guilty of falsehood, or disobedience, or 
anger. Point to the definite case, and lead your 
child to confess it before God, and ask forgiveness. 
We will suppose that your son has been irritated, and 
struck his sister. Before he falls asleep, you remind 
him of his sin. Shew him how wicked it was and 
how displeased God must be. Tell him that when 
he is asleep he will die, unless God keeps him alive. 
Under such instructions almost every child would de- 
sire to ask forgiveness, and probably would offer 
some such prayer as this: "O God, I am very 
wicked. I struck my sister. I am very sorry, and 
will never do so again. Oh God, forgive me for 
Jesus Christ's sake." This would be prayer, and if 
after it had been offered, the mother should kneel by 
the bed-side, and confess the sin of her child, and 
pray that God would forgive him, in all probability 
the intended effect of prayer would be accomplished. 
The offender would be penitent and the sin forgiven. 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 139 

For these reasons, it is a most obvious duty to teach 
children to express their own feelings in their own 
language. And the careful mother may make this 
exercise one of the most efficient instruments in teach- 
ing her child obedience here, and in training it up for 
holiness and happiness hereafter. 

Parents are apt to smile at the childish expressions 
which children make use of in prayer, and sometimes 
fear that their language is irreverent. But God looks 
simply at the sincerity of the petition, at its importance 
in the mind of the petitioner. A little child of two and 
a half years prayed, "Lord, help me to laugh and not 
cry, when mother washes me in the morning." And 
does not God look with as kind regard upon the hum- 
ble request of this little child, as he does upon the 
fervent petitions of the man who implores support 
under some painful operation, or strength to over- 
come an irritable spirit? Such a request, coming 
spontaneously from the heart of a child, is genuine 
prayer, and it shews a state of feeling which ought at 
all times to be cherished. 

5. Expect that your child will become a christian. 
That heart, which is susceptible of sorrow and o ( 
love, is capable of evangelical repentance and love tc 
God. No one can doubt, but that at a very earK 
period in life, a child has all the capacity which i* 
necessary to constitute it a christian. Neither can 
there be any doubt that at that early period the mind 
is more susceptible of impression, the hold of the 
world is more feeble, and the current of affection 



140 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

may be more easily turned to God. And facts do 
hold forth most abundant encouragement. How 
many little memoirs have recently been issued from 
the press, which have told the affecting tale of 
youthful piety. Children of five or six years of age 
have given the most gratifying evidence of attach- 
ment to the Savior. They have endured pain, and 
met death, sustained by the consolations of religion. 
Such facts have been too numerous and too decisive 
to allow unbelief to be longer excusable. And yet it 
is to be feared that many parents do not feel their 
immediate responsibility. They still cherish the im- 
pression that their children must attain maturity be- 
fore they can be decidedly penitent for sin, and the 
friends of God. • But the mother who entertains such 
feelings as these, is guilty of the most cruel injustice 
to her child. It is almost impossible that she should 
be vigilant and faithful in her efforts, unless she ex- 
pect success. Every mother ought to engage in the 
duties of religious instruction, with the confident ex- 
pectation that God will accompany her exertions 
with his blessing. She ought even to feel that if her 
child does not give early evidence of piety, much of 
the blame rests with her. The christian experience 
of the child will undoubtedly differ from that of the 
man who has passed many years in sin, whose habits 
are firmly fixed, and whose affections have long been 
flowing in the channel of worldliness. With such a 
person, the struggle of turning to holiness will often 
be great, and the sense of sin distressingly intense. 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 141 

But the period of your child's conversion may be at 
so early a stage of its existence, as to leave no trace 
by which the time of the change can be remembered. 
The struggle will be comparatively feeble, and peni- 
tence will be manifested by the tearful eye, and the 
sad heart, and not by that deep agony of spirit which 
not unfrequently marks the change of those who 
have grown old in sin. 

Much injury is often done by laying stress upon 
the time when one becomes a christian. Past feel- 
ings are a very uncertain test of christian charac- 
ter. The great object of inquiry should be as 
to present feelings and conduct. # Is the life now 
in accordance with the requirements of the gos- 
pel? Is the heart now affected with humility and 
penitence, and gratitude? Is the resolution now 
strong to live for God? If the sun is shining warmly 
upon us, it is of but little consequence at what mo- 
ment it arose. There are many christians who can- 
not recollect the time when they became subjects of 
the new birth. Be not therefore anxious upon this 
point. It is one of very little consequence. Indeed, 
by directing the attention of your child to any partic- 
ular time when it became a christian, there is danger 
of leading the mind to rely upon the supposed expe- 
rience of that moment, rather than upon continued 
penitence and devotion. And therefore let every 
mother do all in her power to awaken in the bosoms 
of her children emotions of sorrow for sin, and reli- 
ance upon the Savior. And when she finds these 



142 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

feelings in the heart and controlling the life, let her 
thank God and take courage. She must watch with 
maternal solicitude that temptation be avoided, and 
that the feeble flame burn brighter and brighter. 
Christ has intrusted this tender lamb to your guardian- 
ship. Why should not a mother confidently expect 
this result to follow her efforts? Has not God en- 
couraged her thus to hope, by promising to aid with 
his blessing? Has he not encouraged by again and 
again crowning such efforts with success? Away 
then with unbelief. To doubt is to distrust the pro- 
mise of God. Instruct your child, and pray for your 
child, and look fgr an immediate blessing. Thus in 
all probability will your heart be made glad by th( 
fruits of early piety at your fire-side; grateful childrer 
will honor you through life, and the joys of heavei 
will be magnified by meeting your loved ones there. 

6. Do not speak to others of the piety of your 
child. Great injury is thus often done. A child 
becomes deeply interested in the subject of religion, 
and his friends are encouraged to hope that he has 
really become a christian. They speak of it to oth- 
ers. It is soon publicly known. He receives much 
attention; is caressed and flattered. Thus is this 
little child thrown at once into the very hottest fur- 
nace of temptation. We might refer to many pain- 
ful illustrations of this truth, in the memoirs of early 
piety. 

Says the biographer of little Nathan Dickerman, 
"His feelings were often wounded by the injudicious 



religious INSTRUCTION. 143 

conversation which was too often held in his pres- 
ence. 

"Kind friends indulged in perhaps what were well- 
meant, but sadly ill-judged remarks in his presence* 
And it is most deeply to be regretted that parents and 
friends so often, inconsiderately no doubt, speak be- 
fore children in praise of their persons, in a manner 
that inevitably fosters vanity, which injures their use- 
fulness and happiness as long as they live. 

"INathan's ear was often greeted with Beautiful 
boy! Remarkable boy! What a fine countenance! 
Certainly the most wonderful case I ever heard of; 
the half had not been told me.' 5 

It is remarkable that while exposed to such tempta- 
tions, real humility could have been preserved. And 
though the^grace of God sustained this lovely child, 
but few would have escaped ruin. 

How often is even the christian minister sensibly 
affected by flattery! And can a child receive such 
marked attentions uninjured? An honest develope- 
ment of facts, upon this subject, would be exceedingly 
painful. Humility is one of the cardinal virtues of 
Christianity. The moment an impression is conveyed 
to the mind, that there is something remarkable and 
meritorious in penitence for sin, and love for God, 
the heart is elated with pride. And then things are 
said, and actions performed, to attract attention, 
gfPrayers are offered, and feelings of piety expressed 
from the love of ostentation. And the pious child is 
"spoiled." Preserve your child from these tempta- 



144 THE MOTHER AT HOME, 

tions, by giving no publicity to his feelings. Care- 
fully cherish at home, the flame which is kindled in 
his bosom. Under your protection, let him acquire 
strength of principle and stability of character. 
Gradually introduce him to the more public duties of 
the christian life. Teach him humility. Preserve 
his child-like spirit. In this manner you may lead 
him along to be a humble, and, at the same time, an 
active and ardent friend of the Savior. 



CHAPTER VIII. 

RESULTS. # 

Frequent allusion has been made in the preceding 
chapters to the fatal consequences which must attend 
the neglect of duty. In view of this, some parents 
may have been oppressed and dejected. It is most 
surely true that the misconduct of children subjects 
the parents to the utmost intensity of suffering. But 
it must be remembered, that when parental faithful- 
ness is attended with its usual blessing, joys, nearer 
akin to those of heaven than of earth, are the result. 
The human heart is not susceptible of more exquisite 
pleasures than the parental relation affords. Is there * 
no joy when the mother first presses her infant to her 
heart? Is there no delight in witnessing the first 



RESULTS. 



145 



placid smile which plays upon its cheek? Yes! The 
very earliest infancy of the babe brings "rapture 
a mother only knows." The very care is a delight. 
And when your little son has passed through the 
dreamy existence of infancy, and is buoyant with the 
activity and animated with the intelligence of child- 
hood, are not new sources of pleasure opened to your 
mind? Are there no thrilling emotions of enjoyment 
in hearing the hearty laugh of your happy boy; in 
witnessing the unfoldings of his active mind; in feel- 
ing his warm kiss and ardent embrace? Is there no 
delight in seeing your boy run to meet you, with his 
face full of smiles, and his heart full of love; and in 
hearing him, in lisping accents, call you mother? As 
you receive daily new proofs of his affection and 
obedience, and see that his little bosom is animated 
with a generous and a noble spirit, you feel repaid 
an hundred fold for all your pain, anxiety, and toil. 
After a few years, your cares terminate. Your 
children have arrived at maturity. And with that 
blessing, which we may ever expect to accompany 
our prayerful efforts, they will be found with generous 
affections and established principles of piety. With 
what emotions do parents, then, look around upon 
their happy and prosperous family. They are re- 
ceiving the earthly recompense of reward. What an 
affecting sight it is, to see an aged and widowed 
mother, leaning upon the firm arm of her son, as he 
accompanies her to the house of God. And how 
many parents have had their declining years cheered 
13 



146 THE MOTHER AT HOME* 

by the affectionate attentions of a daughter. Who 
will so tenderly watch over you in sickness as a 
daughter, whose bosom is animated by the principles 
of piety, which you have inculcated? Almost the 
only earthly joy to be experienced in old age, is the 
joy of looking around upon happy and grateful chil- 
dren. The marks of esteem and love you receive 
from them, will daily be rewarding you for all your 
toil. And when your children's children cluster 
around you, giving unceasing tokens of respect and 
affection, you will find in their caresses the renewal 
of your youth. When all other earthly joys have 
faded, you will find in the little prattlers of the fire- 
side, untiring enjoyment. 

But there is a scene of still brighter happiness, 
TJe christian family will meet again. Parents and 
children will be associated in heaven. And when 
the whole household are happily assembled there ? 
v hen they sit down together in the green pastures 
«nd by the still waters; when they go in and out at 
the mansions which God has prepared for them; then 
and not till then, will they experience the fulness of 
the enjoyment with which God rewards parental 
fidelity. How full of rapture is the thought that the 
whole family may meet again in the world of songs 
and everlasting joy, where sorrow and sighing shall 
forever flee away! As from that happy state of ex- 
istence you look back upon your pilgrimage on earth, 
you can never regret any amount of labor you have 
expended, any sacrifices you have made, any suffer- 



RESULTS. 147 

ings you have undergone, to train up your children 
to be with you the heirs of a glorious immortality. 
Oh there is enough, abundantly enough, to encour- 
age every parent to unwearied exertions. As, with 
the deep emotions of parental love, you look upon 
the obedient and affectionate children who surround 
your fireside, your thoughts may be carried away to 
enjoyments infinitely richer, and forever enduring, in 
the world to come. 

We may be called upon to follow our children to 
the grave. And heart-rending is such an affliction. 
But, if we have reason to believe that they have gone 
to the mansions which the Savior has prepared, 
much of the bitterness of the affliction is taken away. 
They have gone home before us. They are shel- 
tered from every storm. They are protected from 
every sorrow. Soaring in angelic flights, and anima- 
ted with celestial joys, they are ready to welcome us, 
when God, in his own good time, shall give us en- 
trance to those happy worlds. A gentleman was 
once asked if he had lost any of .his children. 
"No," he replied, "I have two in heaven, but have 
lost none." To a christian family, the death of any 
one of its members is but a temporary absence, and 
not an eternal separation. 

2. Mothers have as powerful an influence over the 
welfare of future generations, as all other causes com- 
bined. Thus far, the history of the world has been 
composed of the narrations of oppression and blood. 
War has scattered its unnumbered woes. The cry 



148 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

of the oppressed has unceasingly ascended to heaven. 
Where are we to look for the influence which shall 
change this scene, and fill the earth with the fruits of 
peace and benevolence? It is to Christianity, as 
taught from a mother's lips. In nine cases out of 
ten, the first six or seven years decide the character 
of the man. If the boy leave the paternal roof, un- 
controlled, turbulent, and vicious, he will, in all prob- 
ability, rush on in the mad career of self-indulgence. 
There are exceptions. But these exceptions are 
rare. H } on the other hand, your son goes from 
home, accustomed to control himself, he will most 
undoubtedly retain that habit through life. If he has 
been taught to make sacrifices of his own enjoyment, 
that he may promote the happiness of those around 
him, he will continue to practice benevolence, and 
consequently will be respected, and useful, and 
happy. If he has adopted firm resolutions to be 
faithful in all the relations of life, he in all probability, 
will be a virtuous man, and an estimable citizen, and a 
benefactor of his race. 

When our land is filled with virtuous and patriotic 
mothers, then will it be filled with virtuous and patri- 
otic men. This world's redeeming influence must 
come from a mother's lips. She who was first in the 
transgression, must be yet the principal earthly instru- 
ment in the restoration. Other causes may greatly 
aid. Other influences must be ready to receive the 
mind, as it comes from the mother's hand, and carry 
it onward in its improvement. But the mothers of 
our race must be the chief instruments in its redemp- 



RESULTS. 149 

lion. The brightest rays of the millennial morn must 
come from the cradle. This sentiment will bear ex- 
amining. And the more it is examined, the more 
manifestly true will it appear. It is alike the dictate 
of philosophy and experience. The mother, who is 
neglecting personal effort, and relying upon other in- 
fluences for the formation of virtuous character in her 
children, will find, when it is too late, that she has 
fatally erred. The patriot, who hopes that schools, 
and lyceums, and the general diffusion of knowledge, 
will promote the good order and happiness of the 
community, while family government is neglected, 
will find that he is attempting to purify the streams 
which are flowing from a corrupt fountain. It is ma- 
ternal influence, after all, which must be the great 
agent, in the hands of God, in bringing back our 
guilty race to duty and happiness. Oh that mothers 
could feel this responsibility as they ought. Then 
would the world assume a different aspect. Then 
should we less frequently behold unhappy families 
and broken hearted parents. A new race of men 
would enter upon the busy scene of life, and cru- 
elty and crime would pass away. Oh mothers! 
reflect upon the power your Maker has placed in 
your hands. There is no earthly influence to be 
compared with yours. There is no combination of 
causes so powerful, in promoting the happiness or the 
misery of our race, as the instructions of home. In 
a most peculiar sense God has constituted you the 
guardians and the controllers of the human family. 
13* 



150 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

3. Perhaps some one asks, "Is there nothing fir 
fathers to doV There certainly is, much — very 
much. But this treatise is prepared to impress upon 
the mind the duties of mothers. Yet lest it should 
be inferred from what has been written, that the 
whole duty of family government rests upon the 
mother, I would briefly remark, that no father can be 
excusable, for releasing himself from a full share of 
the responsibility. A father will often make many 
excuses to release himself from his duty, but alas! 
he cannot release his children from the ruin, or him- 
self from the woe, which his neglect occasions. It 
will be a poor solace to him, as he goes in shame and 
sorrow to the grave, to reflect that he was busily en- 
gaged in other employments, while leaving his chil- 
dren to mature for ignominy and disgrace. What 
duties can be paramount to those we owe our chil- 
dren? A clergyman sometimes says he has" so much 
to do; his time is so fully occupied, that he is com- 
pelled to neglect his children. And who has the first 
claim upon his attention, his parish, or his children? 
God has placed him over a parish, and has also made 
him a father of a family, and which duty does God 
regard as most imperative? And yet not a [ew in- 
stances might be pointed out, in which clergymen of 
devoted piety, and extensive usefulness, have given 
their whole attention to the labors of the study and 
public duties, and have left their unhappy children to 
grow up unchecked and vicious. No one can enjoy 
the privilege of being a father, without having duties 



Results. 151 

to perform which will require time and care* And 
can any time be more usefully employed, than that 
which is passed, in training up a family of children, 
who shall remain to do good in the world, long after 
we are silent in the grave? Can we leave any influ- 
ence equal to that of pious sons and daughters? 
Can we bequeath the world a richer legacy, than the 
fervent piety and active usefulness of a numerous 
offspring? Oh there is no sin, which reaches so far, 
and extends such wide spreading desolation, as pa- 
rental neglect. No father can be guiltless, in retiring 
from these responsibilities. The first duty enjoined 
upon us, is to keep our own hearts with diligence. 
The second, to lead our families to God. The 
third, to consult for the spiritual welfare of our 
neighbors. The fourth, to do all in our power to 
evangelize the world. And yet how many Christian 
ministers have paralysed their influence, destroyed 
their peace of mind, and broken their hearts, by neg- 
lecting the duties they owe their children. 

Many of the most eminent statesmen of our land, 
are thus afflicted and dishonored. And the affliction 
must be aggravated by the consciousness, that they 
are reaping as they have sown. I would not willingly 
inflict a pang upon the heart of any parent who reads 
these pages, but I cannot refrain from raising a warn- 
ing voice, in view of the destruction which has gone 
forth, and is still going forth, from the cause we are 
now contemplating. The temptation is very great, 
for men who are engaged in literary pursuits, and 



152 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

overwhelmed with public cares, to neglect their do- 
mestic duties. But how ruinous is this to usefulness 
and happiness. It is better to be a poor man, and it 
is better to be a humble man, than to be disgraced 
in life by the profligacy of those who call us father, 
and to have a dying pillow planted with thorns by our 
children's hands. Every man, whatever be his situa- 
tion in life, is bound to regard the duties he owes his 
children, as among the most sacred he has to dis- 
charge. If he neglect them he must reap the bitter 
consequences. He has sown the wind and he must 
reap the whirlwind. 

One other remark I must here make, as it is inti- 
mately connected with a mother's duty. A father 
should always endeavor to teach his children to honor 
their mother. If the father does not do this, the dif- 
ficulties of the mother will be vastly increased. But 
where harmony of design is seen to exist between 
the parents, authority is strengthened. There is 
something in loving and revering a mother, which 
exerts a delightful influence upon the heart. It re- 
fines and elevates the character; and is a strong safe- 
guard against degrading vice. Boys in particular 
will not long respect a mother, if they see that their 
father does not treat her with attention. You can 
hardly find a dissolute young man, who has been ac- 
customed, from infancy to look to his mother, with 
respect and love. It is in disobedience to a mother, 
that the career of crime generally commences. The 
way is thus prepared, for the disregard of all parental 



HESULTS. 153 

authority. And then the progress is rapid to the 
boldest defiance of all the laws of God and man. 
Many an unhappy criminal, has, from the gallows, 
traced back his course of guilt to the early periods 
of childhood, when he commenced with disobedience 
to a mother's commands; and he has felt and ac- 
knowledged, that had he then been habituated to 
obey, his whole succeeding course had probably 
been different. It is therefore of the first importance, 
that nothing should be omitted, tending to give the 
mother great and unceasing influence over the minds 
of her children. 

4. The subject of education must be attended to 
with persevering study. And yet how many parents 
neglect this duty? Nothing surely can be of greater 
importance <to the parents and child, than a correct 
system of family government. Every mother admits 
her need of information. There are many valuable 
books, easy of access, which will afford great assist- 
ance. A mother should consider it one of her first 
duties, to inform herself upon this subject, as far as 
her means will admit. The art of influencing and 
guiding the youthful mind, is susceptible of almost 
boundless improvement, and we are unfaithful to our 
children if we do not become familiar with the results 
of the experiments of others. We ought not to 
stumble in darkness, when light is shining around us. 
There are fundamental principles in operating upon 
the human mind, as well as in any other science. 
And many an anxious mother has committed errors 



154 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

to the serious injury of her children, which she might 
have avoided, had she consulted the sources of infor- 
mation which are at every one's hand. 

How great must be the affliction of that mother, 
who in consequence of neglect, has been unsuccess- 
ful with her family. She looks upon her ruined sons, 
and reproaches herself with the just reflection, that if 
she had pursued a different course, they might have 
been her joy and blessing. Perhaps even they throw 
reproaches upon her, and attribute all their guilt and 
wretchedness to her bad government. But few more 
miserable men have passed through the world than 
Lord Byron. And he has distinctly attributed the 
formation of his character, and consequently all his 
crime and wo, to his mother's unrestrained passions 
and neglect of proper government. How must such 
a crimination from a dissolute son, pierce the heart 
of a pious mother. Knowledge of duty might have 
been attained, but she neglected to attain it, and 
through inexcusable ignorance ruined her child. An 
affectionate mother would be overwhelmed with an- 
guish, if she had ignorantly administered some poi- 
sonous drug and had seen her child in consequence 
expiring in agony. But how much more dreadful is 
it to see moral ruin caused by our own criminal igno- 
rance. Who would not rather see a son or a daugh- 
ter lie down in the grave, than see them in the 
wretchedness and disgrace of profligacy. If we 
would preserve our children, we must seek informa- 
tion respecting our duties. 



BEStJLTS* 155 

Reading, however, of itself is not sufficient* There 
muu be the expenditure of our own thoughts, and 
the vigilance of personal observation. I once knew 
a mother who kept a constant journal of the progress 
of her child from his earliest infancy. She carefully 
noted down her more important acts of discipline 
and observed the effect which her course produced 
upon the character of her child. With more solic- 
itude and vigilance than the physician watches the 
effect of his prescriptions, did she watch the effect 
of her moral remedies and antidotes. His opening 
faculties, the developements of his affections, his 
constitutional temperament, his prominent foibles, 
were made the subject of continued deliberation. 
They were committed to writing. Thus was this 
mother gaining information more rapidly than she 
could possibly gain it in any other way. She w T as 
accustoming her own mind to independent investiga- 
tion and thought. Every day she was gaining 
knowledge of the effect of different motives upon the 
mind. And her influence over her child was every 
day increasing. Now this looks like maternal fideli- 
ty. It shews that the mother feels her need of infor- 
mation and is anxious to acquire it. And it shews 
that she is willing to make intellectual effort herself, 
that she may be able to discharge her duties. 

Let any mother adopt such a course as this, and 
she must be most rapidly advancing in the knowl- 
edge of guiding the youthful mind. When her child 
first manifests irritation, let her write down the course 



156 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

she pursued to allay that irritation, and the success 
which attended her efforts. 

I will give a specimen of what I suppose would be 
the general character of such a journal. 

Jan. 10, 1833. To-day Charles became very 
angry with his sister and pushed her down. As a 
punishment, I gave Mary an apple, and gave Charles 
none. But I thought Charles seemed, instead of 
being subdued, to be more envious and vexed with 
his sister. 

15. Mary to-day treated her brother unkindly. 
I thought I would try a different course from that I 
pursued with Charles. I called them both to me and 
said, "Mary, God is displeased when he sees you 
indulging such feelings. And now how can you ask 
God to night, to take care of you, when you have 
been disobeying Him to-day?" Having talked with 
her a little while in this strain, she burst into tears 
and asked her brother's forgiveness. They were 
soon playing again as happy and affectionate as ever. 
Before Mary went to sleep to night, she asked God's 
forgiveness, and promised that she would try never to 
be angry again. I cannot but hope that an impres- 
sion was produced upon both their minds, which will 
not soon be forgotten. 

18. Charles to-day accidentally broke a valuable 
lamp. I fear that I unjustly blamed him. I must 
endeavor to have my feelings under more perfect 
control. 



RESULTS. 157 

Jan. 22. Mary is beginning to manifest improper 
fondness for dress. We have had much company 
lately, and many have spoken to her about her beau- 
tiful gown. I must, dress her in such a manner that 
she will not attract attention. 

If some such course as this is pursued with perse- 
verance, great skill will certainly be acquired in the 
art of governing. The mother must, in some way, 
direct the energies of her own mind to this subject. 
She must watch the peculiarities of the dispositions 
of her children. She must think and experiment 
for herself. 

After writing the above, the following communica- 
tion was placed in my hand. As it was written by a 
mother, who has long practiced upon the plan here 
recommended, and who, from her numerous cares, 
might, with more propriety than almost any other 
parent, claim exemption from this duty, [ with great 
pleasure insert it. It is the testimony of successful 
experiment. 

"Perhaps to some mothers it may at first appear 
impossible to carry on, with any degree of system or 
accuracy, any thing like a regular journal. It is true 
it would at first require some effort, but if it would 
aid a mother in discharging her duties, where is the 
conscientious parent who would shrink from such an 
effort? There are many benefits to be expected 
from such a record, and it should perhaps be merely 
a record or note-book, that it may not encroach too 
much upon the time of those mothers who are 
14 



158 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

obliged to devote a great proportion of their time in 
attending to the domestic duties of their families. 

The first benefit resulting to the mother herself, 
would be the necessity of making some regular 
mental effort. A young mother, surrounded with 
family cares and duties, may feel at first as if she had 
no time for mental and intellectual labor; but ten 
minutes every day, devoted to such a purpose, would 
soon convince her that her other duties are probably 
the better performed for such a diary. Her duties 
to her children certainly will not be attended to with 
less interest, and she is gradually fitting herself, by 
such discipline, however trifling, to be their teacher 
and guide. 

2. The habit of keeping such a memoranda, indu- 
ces a mother to look with greater scrutiny into her 
own motives of action, into her principles of family 
government, and to govern her own heart and con- 
duct, and cultivate more of a spirit which every 
mother needs — a spirit of prayer. 

I am confident that would mothers do this, mutual 
benefit and assistance would be given to that class of 
society, to whom we must look for much of the future 
happiness of the community. And many a young 
parent would feel her hand strengthened, and her 
heart lightened in the cause of infant instruction. 

The plan I would suggest, might be something 
like the following. 

1. Notice the earliest developements of temper, 
and give the result of simple experiments made to 
subdue and conquer it. 



RESULTS. 159 

2. Remark what things peculiarly interest your 
child, and describe how you improve the opportu- 
nity of giving the child a moral and religious lesson, 
drawn from the object of interest. Shew the effect 
and result of such an impression. 

3. Describe the course pursued to insure obedi- 
ence. State the difficulties, and how overcome. 

4. Describe the course of first religious instruc- 
tion, and what generally excites the strongest interest 
in your child's mind. 

In this way you may assist many a trembling 
mother in doing her duty, and the result of an expe- 
rience, which perhaps costs you but a few minutes 
of time to throw into a suitable form on paper, will, 
through the pages of some religious magazine, be cir- 
culated to the farthest parts of our country, and be 
exerting a powerful influence on the hearts of moth- 
ers — an inestimable one on the prospects, both for 
time and eternity, of the rising generation." 

- The following is an extract from such a note- 
book, kept by a mother, and written without any ref- 
erence to its insertion here. 

"Perhaps there are few dispositions which require 
more judicious, firm, and steady management, in a 
child ; than that which is often ranked under obstina- 
cy or stubbornness. There is certainly no fault, 
which, if neglected, or allowed to gain strength, is 
more likely to bring down the heart of a parent with 
sorrow to the grave, and to insure to the child a 
youth and manhood of wretchedness. It "grows 
with the growth, and strengthens with the strength." 



160 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

Yet I have heard more than one mother say, "that 
child is very obstinate; he will have his own way, 
and I suppose he is too young to understand now, 
and frequent punishment only hardens the heart." 
A child cannot be too young to learn; that is, as 
soon as a child begins to notice and watch the tones 
of the voice, and the expression of the countenance, 
it is of an age to receive moral lessons. It is un- 
doubtedly true, that, in administering punishment, 
care should be taken to do it in such a way that it 
shall tend to soften and subdue the heart, not irritate 
it. Yet the child must be made to feel that its spirit 
must yield to parental authority. For instance, 
your child is playing with some forbidden article. 
You tell it gently but firmly to put it down — it 
refuses. If you rise, and take it by force, the child 
cries — it is vexed and disappointed. Instead of this, 
if you say, pointing to the article, "you must put it 
down," and- it refuses, a second command, in the 
voice of seriousness and authority, will seldom fail of 
ensuring obedience. The child should then see an 
approving look or smile, and if taken up and amused 
by something which you are sure will interest, it will 
not forget the lesson, particularly if pains is taken to 
associate the forbidden thing with something which 
produces a sensation of pleasure. Return to it, and 
say, "you must not touch that, no, no," and repeat it 
two or three times. Then give the child something 
which is not so familiar as to be worthless, and say, 
"you may have this." A child of ten or twelve 
months may soon be taught in this way distinct les- 



RESULTS. 161 

sons of obedience. Tf it refuses to yield, some slight 
punishment should be inflicted, which shall connect 
the idea of bodily suffering or inconvenience, but 
care should be afterwards taken to interest the child, 
and your countenance should evince no anger or 
irritability. 

A child of less than three years was often trouble- 
some by the unyielding disposition he manifested. 
He had been severely punished for his fault, though 
never unless the danger of omitting it made the risk 
to the child's future happiness very great. Once, 
after a very decided case of obstinacy had occurred, 
it became necessary to punish him. After it was 
over, he said he was not sorry for the fault. He 
had never been shut up in the dark as a punishment, 
because with very young childreu the consequences 
are sometimes hazardous; but it was known that in 
this case the child was not afraid; and I desired to 
know the effect of it, in connection with religious 
considerations. The following experiment was tried, 
and the conversation is here precisely as it occurred. 

Mother. I am sorry you are so naughty. I 
must put you into a dark closet, where nobody can 
see you. 

Child. I do'nt want to get up and be good, (very 
deliberately.) 

I kept my word, saying, at the same time, "when 
you are a good boy, you may call me, and I will 
open the door, but now you must be quiet, and not 
touch any thins." He remained perfectly still more 

than ten minutes, then knocked loudly on the door. 
15 



3 62 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

M. Are you good now? 
Ch. Not if I come out there. 
M. What are you knocking for? 
Ch. I want to get out. 

M. If you are good, I will open the door; but 
you have been very naughty, and troubled me. 
Are you going to be good? 

Ch. No; I a'nt good and sorry — I do'nt want to 
come out. 

M. I am very sorry that my little boy is naughty. 
He is in the closet, where it is very dark, and mother 
cannot see him, but God can see him. God is dis- 
pleased with you. I want my little boy to think. 
Can you think of God, and ask him to take care of 
you, while you are so cross and ill-humored? 

He was still for about a minute, and then said, in 
a pleasant, subdued tone, "I am good now, ma." 
He came out and went to his play, as if nothing had 
occurred to disturb his tranquillity. I have not the 
least doubt that this occurrence will have a strong 
and lasting impression, and save a mother's heart 
many a pang in time to come, and prevent the neces- 
sity of severe punishment." 

There is an impression upon the minds of many, 
that skill in governing must be instinctive — that it 
is an original and native talent, and not to be ac- 
quired by information or thought. But look at 
those parents who have been most successful in fam- 
ily government, and they will be found to be those 
who have most diligently and uniformly attended to 
the subject. You may go into the family of some 



RESULTS. 163 

man of celebrity, in one of the learned professions, 
and, as you look upon his lawless children, you are 
perhaps discouraged. You say, if this man, with his 
powerful and highly cultivated mind, cannot succeed 
in family government, how can I expect success? 
But a little observation will satisfy you, that this man 
is giving his time and attention to other pursuits. 
He is neglecting his children, and they are forming 
precisely those characters we should expect, from the 
influences to which they are exposed. 

There is no absolute certainty that any procedure 
will result in the piety of the child. But if we go on 
in our attempts to govern without system, or thought, 
or care, we shall undoubtedly reap most bitter conse- 
quences. The mother must study her duty. She 
must carefully observe the effect produced by her 
mode of discipline. There is but little advantage to 
be derived from books, unless we revolve their con- 
tents in our own minds. Others may suggest the 
most valuable ideas. But we must take those ideas 
and dwell upon them, and trace out their effects, and 
incorporate them into our minds, by associating them 
with others of our own. We must accustom our- 
selves to investigation and thought. The mother 
who will do this, will most certainly grow in wisdom. 
She will daily perceive that she is acquiring more fa- 
cility in forming in her child the character she desires. 
And the increasing obedience and affection she will 
receive, will be her constant reward. Care and 
labor is necessary in training up a family. But no 
other cares are rewarded with so rich a recompense. 



164 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

No other labors ensure such permanent and real en- 
joyment. You, oh mothers, have immortal souls 
entrusted to your keeping. Their destiny is in a great 
degree in your hands. Your ignorance or unfaith- 
fulness may sink them to the world of woe. Your 
fidelity may elevate them to the mansions of heaven. 
You and your children may soon be ranging with 
angel wings the realms of blest spirits, if here you 
are faithful in prayer and effort to train them up for 
heaven. 



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